Child

34 posts1, 2, 3
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Summerless
Gender Female
Points 1040
Reviews 137
Sun Apr 27, 2008 11:34 pm
Summerless says... · Sun Apr 27, 2008 11:34 pm
I haven't ever read anything like this (content-wise and format-wise).
Interesting stanza lengths and good word choice (chaste, ecstasy, navel, compulsion).

Everything flows well except the first stanza's last word of each line.




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harrypotterbooklover101
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 11
Mon Apr 28, 2008 8:55 pm
harrypotterbooklover101 says... · Mon Apr 28, 2008 8:55 pm
That is the most increatible pome in the world!!! :D :D :D
Always have a Happy Life!

Love everybody!




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deleted6
Gender Male
Points 1823
Reviews 665
Mon Apr 28, 2008 9:03 pm
deleted6 says... · Mon Apr 28, 2008 9:03 pm
This is truly creepy it very intresting how ya get into his mind and what he see's. Really it's super creepy... super... Overall: This earns a star but god so creepy and so true how nowadays girls wear too revealing clothes. It asking for something like this.

Good luck
VSN
We get off to the rhythm of the trigger and destruction. Fallujah to New Orleans with impunity to kill. We are the hidden fist of the free market.
We are the ink, we are the quill.
[The Ink And The Quill (Be Afraid) - Anti-Flag]




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Because I wanted to...
Gender Female
Points 1278
Reviews 12
Tue May 13, 2008 3:17 am
Because I wanted to... says... · Tue May 13, 2008 3:17 am
I'm am in love with this poem.
The whole poem is filled with the pleasure of sin and passion and how that very passion that feels so good can lead you right over a cliff.

Its hard to invoke that much feelin in just words.
"At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet."
-Plato

34 posts1, 2, 3


Remember when dad's shoulders were the highest place on earth and your mom was your hero? Race issues were about who ran the fastest, war was only a car game. The most pain you felt was when you skinned your knees, and good byes only meant tomorrow? And we couldn't wait to grow up.
— Unknown