Corrupt a Wish 2

Granted, but you wouldn't exist to see it.

I wish books were cheap.

Granted, but only the bad books.

I wish someone would reply to this wish with something that could make me laugh.

Granted, but a carrot would shove itself up your conk everytime you laughed.

I wish I didn't need to eat biscuits.

Granted, but they eat you.

I wish that you won't corrupt my wish.

Granted, but it fails anyway.

I wish that there would be no way to corrupt this wish.

Granted, but only momentarily. Then it corrupts itself.

I wish you would not grant this wish.

Granted.

I wish that I could eat apple pie right now with out anybody corrupting it.

Granted, but the one of the apples is the poisonous one from Snow White.
I wish you would do my English homework.

Granted, but it sucks.

I wish I wrote well.

Granted, but no one can ever see your work but yourself.

I wish I was a world famous pianist.

Granted, but you'll be famous for being bad.

I wish there was peace in the world..

Granted, but its only because a war that happened before world peace drove humans to extinction.

I wish I was born on Januray 1st at 12:00 exactly.

Granted, but you died on January 1st, 12:01.
I wish I had an octopus.

Granted but it would kill you

I wish i could speak dragonic and elven

Granted, but no one else remembers how.

I wish a meteor would destroy the Earth.