"Antidepressant"

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Gender Female
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[pre]Sometimes I sit and wonder how my life could be so depressing
then you came along...
I have no reason to be upset,
you make me smile with all you do.
I can't even stay mad at you.
You are all I want and need.
Hell, you are my antidepressant.
I am smiling now just thinking about you
I can't wait until I can have you more,
I won't have any reason to be upset
because you are the best antidepressant I have ever had.[/pre]
Lucy




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Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 317
this is great, what a neat way to write about a friend. i so like this.
your friend is lucky to have someone like you .

kim




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Gender Male
Points 4790
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this was fun to read, off the beaten path.
it put a smile on my face. so it must be good.




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Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 48
I rather liked your poem. I liked the way you called the person an "antidepressant". The one thing I might suggest would be to change the first line. It seems a little "floaty"...just, out there with no purpose. i would expand on it a little for example: With all the hurt and pain in the world
i used to wonder how life could be so blue
and
depressing
and then you came along...

don't use that exactly but something along those lines would be good i think. nice job!
~abby~
cross the wall? nobody crosses the wall!
-stardust



That's just what translation is, I think. That's all speaking is. Listening to the other and trying to see past your own biases to glimpse what they're trying to say. Showing yourself to the world, and hoping someone else understands.
— Ramy (Babel by R. F. Kuang)