Very good, I am liking very much Unusual structure but I think that makes it stand out more so, and place the emphasis on the whole forbidden.
Keep it up
Hetzie xx
To you perceptive reader, I bequeath my history...
It's like everyone tells a story about themselves inside their own head. Always. All the time. That story makes you what you are. We build ourselves out of that story. — Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind
Unusual structure but I think that makes it stand out more so, and place the emphasis on the whole forbidden.
