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Well this shouldn't be! Prologue

Lord Anzius · 2008-10-08T11:42:03Z

Prologue Look, Wait, look even deeper. In the deepest depths of hell, there lies the home of demons. See the doors, the great devilish doors, made out of the forsaken and unholy matter of the underworld. As they open and you step in, you see the gruesome view of a bloody red room, made of rock and clay. There are creatures unmentioned by name, creeping up from cracked pillars and into skulls. The skulls are older than time itself, and blackened by magic and animals. The ground is dead and the skulls look upon nothingness from their empty sockets. There is also a group of vile green demon mages. Wearing grey robes that cover everything except their hands, feet, and face. They spew wicked, dark words from their mouths.... hear as they speak. "My bugger is the vilest of all," One of them squeaked voice full of pride. "No it's not. Mine is," another one debated. "Dudes, dudes. Don't argue you know that mine is the best and that is the main thing... Now if we would get on with the project." He beckoned with his hands, pointing at the desks that formed a triangle. The other demons grunted hesitantly, but soon turned back to their desks. "Gurly, could you pass me the spanner?" Gurly the smallest of the green demons, a goblin with a large and pointy nose, and face full of... zits? looked up "Why'd ya need a spanner?" The bigger demon looked up from his desk and said "Non of yer business." Gurly looked hurt, he wore a devastated look upon his face. He took the spanner from his side and said "Well then you won't get the spanner, Lemp." The demon called Lemp, vile and ugly, also had a large nose. But was the nose pointy? Oh no! His nose was round and about. His eyes were red as fire and his hands had long claws growing out of them. Lemp looked angrily upon Gurly "Gurly give me the spanner or I will break yer neck," he snapped. Gurly pondered upon this remark and came to a coclusion. He tossed the spanner upon Lemp's desk. Lemp took it with his smelly green hands. He started working on his odd contraption. They all worked in silence until Lemp soon cried out, "Guys... we have a problem." The two other demons, both wore a worried look upon their faces as they looked at what was happening. "I think the dimension modifier is gonna blow," Lemp continued. The three demons looked at a square shaped box, about fifty inches tall and wide. The biggest of the mages looked at Lemp in horror "But how?" "I think, I used the spanner a bit too much." The big demon was horrified "But if it blows up. Generations... millions of years of work, would simply be... would blown up... Not to talk about how it would affect the dimensions..." The machine gave a low rumbling sound. Lemp looked at the other two. "I think we should run." The three demons sat up fast and ran. They ran faster than they had ever ran in their long demon lives. When at long last the vile creatures got out of their blood red room, and the horrid skulls, they closed the great devilish doors looked around themselves, to see if there were any hiding places... But no! They saw nothing. They ran even further. It took them a while. When they were miles away they finally heard a loud bang. They fell down on the dead ground, as the dimensions themselves struck down and went into a pot of hot dimensional lava and screwed the whole world up. The vile creatures looked upon Gurly who was the first to speak "Were so dead aren't we?"

niccy_v

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Tue Dec 23, 2008 4:38 pm

niccy_v says... · Tue Dec 23, 2008 4:38 pm

In progress, i felt like giving you my opinion on it! Haha. But it is so late here, must sleep!

Oh and good tactic with the cliches, I reckon it might work! But do you really want people mocking your work?

Writing gives my life purpose

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Your hesitation suggests you are trying to protect my feelings. However, since I have none, I would prefer you to be honest. An artist's growth depends upon accurate feedback.
— LCDR Data

Well this shouldn't be! Prologue

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