I Would Sing to You

17 posts1, 2
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1368
Reviews 40
wow! I don't normally read poetry, but this caught my eye. This is a very well thought out and beautiful poem. It's a bit hard to read though. Of course there were a few grammatical errors that would've helped it flow a bit more, but it didn't denote the poem's story itself!

Now that I am done writing a review... To the 'Like' button!! :elephant:
By the Gods... Please let inspiration strike me! (Just in a non-violent way O.o)




User avatar
Gender None specified
Points 4562
Reviews 36
This was a very unusual and wonderful way of talking about the season. It really is the antithesis of the expected, elementaryt-school poems that writers often fall back to. The way you connected your imagery was very nice, such as continuing the food similes throughout.

The one part that didn't sit well with me was this:
"Taught me to believe in summers
When sunshine had been my antidote."

The metaphor you use above sticks out from the rest of the poem which has a set theme. Also, the rythmn of these two lines was different from the rest, which made it sound odd.
[url]thelibrarygirl.blogspot.com[/url] Everything Weird Happens at the Library



You're wrong about humanity. They are your greatest creation because they're better than you are. Sure, they're weak, and they cheat and steal and destroy and disappoint, but they also give and create, and they sing and dance and love. Above all, they never give up.
— Metatron (Supernatural)