Music

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Music makes me dance
Go into deep trance
I move my arms
Set on my charms
And look from left to right,
I take a broom
While I continue to bloom
Prancing around the room
My legs won’t stop moving
While my body is continuously grooving
But a noise interrupts my music
A sound from the closed a public
I open the door to see a man
Saying my husband died in Afganistan
The day the music came to an end




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hey this was pretty cool but the rhyming sounded a bit forced and the end was totally random, not that there's anything wrong with random. remember, in poetry it doesn't always have to rhyme. you could probably add a little bit of punctuation to help it.
check it out - novel.php?id=1132




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Gender Female
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Hi there.

I really like this, even though it was a little random and a tiny bit forced in places. Still, the imagery was good and it flowed. It made me smile, even at the end... *clicks 'like'*

Thank you for making me smile and for the brilliant poetry.

~Scarlett.
"With friends like you, who needs a medical license?"
- Paimon, Aether's Heart


“It's easier to ask forgiveness than it is to get permission.”
- Grace Hopper.




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Gender Male
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Wow, this is a really great poem. You caught my attention at the first sentence and still have let it go since. I find your rhymes amusing and easy to follow and read up until the last few lines. I really enjoyed this poem and ill be sure to keep an eye out for your next one. As for a review I have nothing, its flawless! Keep up the good work!
C.Mejia




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Gender Female
Points 6502
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I like the poem.... however your rhythm seems off or something. I like the ending.
Repensum est canicula.

Veni, vidi, nates calce concidi!



If you wanna get in the quote generator, don't try to. Just be you and you'll say something quote worthy eventually.
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