How Could You?

16 posts1, 2
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Jashael
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Thu Oct 14, 2010 4:15 am
Jashael says... · Thu Oct 14, 2010 4:15 am
Hello, Alicia! I'm glad to finally read a poem by you.
My comments in pinkish fonts.

kikialicia31 wrote:How could you,
Leave me alone,
Crying ,
Without any love?

How could you,
Think I'm happy,
With this kind of life,
Surrounded by lies?

How could you,
Create such hurtful lies,I just feel like repeating "lies" was kind of distracting.
And take away,
All my happiness?

How could you,
Do such a thing as,
Break my heart,
When it's already in a thousand pieces?


This is quite a sad poem. The sentence highlighted above is all that I could criticize really, 'Cause it's already such a nice poem. Keep it up, girl! :)
“I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen:
not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.”

—C.S. LEWIS


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16 posts1, 2


I say Wolf, for all wolves are not of the same sort; there is one kind with an amenable disposition – neither noisy, nor hateful, nor angry, but tame, obliging and gentle, following the young maids in the streets, even into their homes. Alas! Who does not know that these gentle wolves are of all such creatures the most dangerous!
— Charles Perrault