To the mortal figure’s disarray, engraved with imperfection and mistakes- a masterpiece of mass destruction, rejected discard of disfunction; was not god’s final work of art, a complex design of a skin deep cast finalised with a beating heart.
You need help finishing this? I can't tell you what to do but... I'd do something with maybe animal life or plants.
So gentle leafs curve, Across a sweet green ground Nor civilised enough, to even make a sound.
I don't say COPY that and I don't belive it fits the rhythm of your poem anyway. It's a good poem but it's smart to make it longer. Maybe you could talk about mortal inventions? Hope I suficed!
I have loved the words and I have hated them. I only hope I have made them right.
You actually need help finishing THIS? Why? It's fine the way it is, short and to the point with a lot of big words in between, I actually really like this and I'm not just saying that. I've written plenty of reviews where I don't like what the person has to say but you, this, it's very good. It's so short that I like it!
Life isn't like a box of chocolates. Life is more like a jar of Jalapenos, what you do today might burn your rear tomorrow!
In the winter months, snowstorms and rainfall in the Patagonian Ice Fields can drastically affect the landscape. Worsened by heavy winds, such storms can reduce visibility and lead to glacial calving, ice collapses, and avalanches. During these conditions, travel is not advised. — The Documentarian