Stooge

3 posts
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1215
Reviews 9
I can't control my words.
When I open my mouth, they all rush out wild and reckless.
When I try to keep my mouth shut, they squeeze out of the corners
And scream about how easy it is to break free.

Sometimes I just give in.
I sit with my mouth drooping to the floor
And watch them all tumble out.
Some run out naked & aggressive,
Some run out happy & anxious,
Some take their time, hanging on my tongue
Chatting with other words they hadn't met before.

All I know is none of them stay behind.
They all get out at some point.
They're funny things, these words...
Always getting what they want.
I don't really mind anymore.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 7522
Reviews 229
Hi! Firstly, let me start off by saying that I really liked this poem. Your grammar was fine, but structure and layout was lacking. The huge sentences are too much to take in, in my personal opinion; break it into short sentences and longer stanzas. The imagery was nice. It wasn't too in the face and was gentle and subtle. Over-all, thumbs up. I'd do a longer review, but I havent that much else to say other than: keep writing! :D
- Amelia




Random avatar
Gender Male
Points 1456
Reviews 126
This was beautiful, I know a lot of people that absolutely can't filter their words, and at times I',m included in that group, and this poem completely described those moments, it was humorous, which I loved, and jsut overall great. I would even go as far as to call this poem superlative. Keep Writing!
Flightplan 49



The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all is the person who argues with him.
— Stanislaw Jerszy Lec