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142,334 Literary Works • 677,268 Reviews
I love it ! Absolutely loved this piece !
However, some pointers. You made a few grammatical mistakes.
" How will you never understanding that collocation of unspoken weight"
The line above, should have read :
"How is it that you never understood that collocation of unspoken weight is intangible strings that connect two wholes of a half"
OR
"How will you ever understand that collocation of unspoken weight is intangible strings that connect two wholes of a half"
Also, you didn't capitalize your "I".
Also, putting commas at the necessary places would have given this piece a better flow.
But overall, this wasn't a bad piece. Very dramatic. Keep up the good work!
-M
love love love this aaahhhh <3
hey
keep writing I love your work