Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language, violence, and mature content.
Myrddin Custos
An Egg In Iwao’s Spine
Twenty one years prior
1/2/487
I hauled myself up the side of the mountain. When I finally reached a cave I sat down on the ledge with a sigh.
“Iwao’s Spine. The mountain range that divides the continent of Embia in half. Known for its high peaks and high death rates,” I muttered. “Now, let’s see what secrets you hold for me.”
I walked down the cave. Several scratches and stalagmites surrounded the walls. I ducked after nearly hitting my head on a stalactite.
A bat shot through the air above me and I looked at where it came from. There was a faint crack going down the wall at the end of the cave. I walked down to the crack and something blue caught my eye. Something blue and crimson was inside the cave wall.
Odd. What's that?
I reached out to the stone and slowly moved it away from the object. I stopped stock still at the sight of a dragon egg. A dragon egg? Not possible.
A large egg that was covered in rows of deep blue scales that faded to crimson at the tips sat in a cubby in the stone. I saw a piece of paper underneath it and I pulled it out. It was old paper with slanting handwriting on it. I stopped and stared at the writing. The ancient language. How old is this egg? I looked at it and several words leapt out to me.
Keahi
Alaka'i
Koa
Dragonkin
“Dragonkin,” I whispered. “Myrddin. What have you gotten yourself into this time?”
I picked the egg up and almost dropped it. The scales had cut into my palms and I hissed in pain. Hmm. It’s so cold. Aren’t dragon eggs supposed to be hot? I’d assume the same goes for dragonkin.
“Well, I suppose we’re going to have to hunt some one down who can read the ancient language Little Dragon,” I said to the egg. “Little Dragon. I like that.”
The next day, I stood in a messy workshop, with vials of colorful liquid that covered slanted shelves. A gaping hole in the cylindrical workshop looked out over the forest. Cyfrin looked at me in disbelief. His blue eyes were unnaturally wide.
“So, you found an egg in the mountains? With a piece of paper in the ancient language?” Cyfrin asked me.
“You can read the ancient language. What does it say?” I asked the mage.
Cyfrin looked at the paper for a long moment. “Myrddin Custos. I swear you just continue to attract trouble.” Then he began to read.
“To the person that finds this egg. Please know that this may be the last surviving dragonkin.”
I furrow my brow. Of course it is. They've only been dead for over 500 years.
“Name her Keahi and care for her like she is your own. Her egg has been suspended in time since 8/15/1588. If you are a Water wielder like me then you should know how to unsuspend her egg.
Alaka’i Koa.”
A Water wielder like me, I thought. Well, Alaka'i, you're in luck.
Cyfrin shook his head. “The Taniwha dragonkin. What on Embia have you gotten yourself into?”
I sighed. “I’m not quite sure. But I do know that this isn’t going to be an easy task. Unsuspending the egg. Hmm.” I started pacing through the workshop. “I have a feeling it’s rather easy. I’m just missing it.”
“Myrddin?”
“Yes?” I paused and turned to him.
“Where is the egg now?”
“Oh that. It’s in my little home.” I resumed my pacing. I kicked papers out of the way as I paced across the worn stone floor.
Cyfrin shook his head, his brown hair flopping into his eyes. “Oh Myrddin.”
“What?”
“I’m just hoping that the Warrior Council never finds out about this.”
“What? That you’ve been teaching me?” I asked.
“No. The egg. Alasdair will lose his mind.”
“I don’t think Alasdair is the mind losing type,” I said. “He’s more of the silent fury that makes you feel horrible.”
Cyfrin nodded. “So what are you going to do about the egg?”
“I think I know how to unsuspend it. It just might take some time.”
“Time is what you don’t have Myrddin,” he pointed out with a raised eyebrow.
“Don’t remind me,” I muttered.
A little while later, after traveling to my home and getting the egg, I brought it back to Cyfrin.
I put the egg in front of him. He stared at the egg for a long moment before finally speaking.
“I would have assumed it was smaller. It’s rather large,” he said. He wasn’t wrong. It was larger than my head. More of an oversized watermelon than anything.
“Well, it has to hold Little Dragon inside,” I pointed out.
“Little Dragon?” Cyfrin repeated as he paced around the egg.
“That’s what I’ve been calling it,” I told him.
“I think you’ll have to give her a name eventually." Cyfrin looked up.
“Keahi was the name her mother picked out,” I mused.
“Keahi. I like it. It means fiery,” he said. Cyfrin walked across the paper covered floor to a desk. He brushed his arm across the desk and sent papers flying through the air.
“So you’re an expert on the ancient language and the language of the Taniwha dragonkin?” I asked him. A paper landed on my head and I plucked it off.
“Yes.”
I sighed. “So many layers. And so few things you reveal.” I tossed the paper to the floor.
“I’d rather I kept to myself than dump my guts out for you. I never chose to take you on as an apprentice,” Cyfrin grumbled.
“And yet you did,” I pointed out.
“And yet I did.”
I put the egg down on the floor and took a deep breath. I sat down in front of it and began to focus on the energy inside the egg and the water in the air. I closed my eyes and began to move the water around. I could feel the energy that was inside the egg that was practically nonexistent slowly begin to increase and speed up.
Then the energy exploded. I was knocked to the ground. The energy was hot and fast. I could sense flames and lightning and a deep hatred.
I gasped as I pushed myself up. Cyfrin picked the egg up and immediately dropped it on his foot with a curse. I looked at him.
“Now it’s hot,” he seethed.
I picked the egg up and almost dropped it myself. It was burning to the touch. I put it down and watched as it began to burn into the wooden table.
“What are you doing? Pick it up!” Cyfrin cried.
“A true dragonkin. What on Embia have I gotten myself into?”
End of chapter
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I’m gonna come back and leave a full review soon when i finish the series but honestly I’m just reading this for pleasure 😭
That's me with Jaded Crown!
awwww yay I’m so glad : DD
I really enjoyed the first chapter of this book

and I specifically loved the phrase 'What on Embia'
I love the way you revealed the apprentice relationship between at Cyfrin and Myrddin. I'm looking forward to what the egg becomes!
Also, the book cover looks soooooo cool where did you design it? its reminding me of the scales of the dragon egg, but I might find other resemblance as I read on.
In my head the dragon egg is like an oval shape, maybe specify whether it is? Or does it have a sharp edge to it? like a dragonfruit?
looking forward to reading the next chapter
Lightswitch
Thanks! I used Canva for the book cover.
The phrase "What on Embia" came from us saying "what on earth?". I always loved the fantasy books that had their own version of our common sayings. I felt like it made the world more real. So I switched earth for the name of the continent they live on, Embia.
The dragon egg is like a oval shape. It's an oval with scales covering it. I like the idea of dragon fruit! Thats pretty close to what it looks like.
Okay this beautiful cover has been TAUNTING me for long enough! Time to check out the story behind it!!
love that both of these use the word “high” as descriptors. Works very well =D Also love that the narrator talks to themselves, can get behind their narration <3Oh what an interesting date formatting. Makes it obvious that this doesn’t take place in familiar culture, maybe not even in a familiar world!
Hmmm okay, so Iwao’s Spine is a place! Now I am thrown back to reading Eragon where he finds Saphira’s egg in the Spine too =D
A dragon egg! SAPHIRA? IS THAT YOU? (But there is crimson too so…?)
I kinda wish there were more descriptions and not just the narrator IMMEDIATELY stumbling over this rare find. Makes this a bit cheap. (Unless Iwao’s Spine is just loaded with Dragon Eggs or whatever these fancy rocks are, in which case: carry on)
OH I love this colour scheme <3 (You can ask the wife, I am a sucker for colour gradients xd)
I’m suddenly wondering if this is Eragon fanfic o_o
Love the name of the MC =D
That said I am still unconvinced by how they found it so easily. It feels… kinda cheap. Why were they in the mountain in the first place? Did they have a vision of this? But then they were surprised by their find. What is going on…
I do feel like you are throwing out too many concepts at once here: water-wielder, dragon kin, ppl casually suspending eggs, a different date format altogether… Now you also randomly bring up a warrior council when you haven’t even really described the workshop, Cyfrin OR the MC themselves @.@
You have a lot of dialogue right after another with no descriptions on where the characters are in relation to each other, how they say the things, no flavour. I’m really missing some grounding descriptions to really enjoy your fantasy story @.@
Uh is Myrddin a water-wielder then? Why are they so sure they can unsuspend the egg when Cyfrin, the mage, seems more sceptical?
…*blinks* What.
Why does the size of the egg matter? You haven’t really given us an expectation and now the characters are subverting something that hasn’t really existed for the reader. The phrasing doesn’t work for me.
We don’t know how large dragonkin usually are so, from the way they talk abt it, I imagine this is a Kiwi bird situation where the egg is exactly as large as the mother XD
I wish you would have done a bit more to set up Myrddin’s magic. Maybe they could have commented on “water-wielder, like I was! Ohh!” and then explain a bit abt what this means? Because you’re just throwing us into the raging ocean of your world without a life-line and without guidance!
Wait, wasn’t she at the shop just now and didn’t you say that she keeps the egg at home? When did we transition to her home???
I kinda also wanna know why the water magic can unsuspend the egg. Is this an Aang-in-the-ice-berg situation and this is why water is the key to “unfreezing” the egg?
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Thanks Tikaa!! That's all super helpful. This made complete sense in my head so it's really nice to get an outside perspective. And no, it's not Eragon sadly. I do really love that series. Info dumping is one of my many weaknesses so Ive been trying to work on that. I just realized that the whole water magic unfreezing the egg is something I explored in a prequel chapter of sorts because I was trying to figure out how the egg got there in the first place and completely skipped it here. It is kinda an Aang-in-the-iceberg situation. I really like that metaphor and may steal it at some point...
Descriptions of Myrddin and Cyfrin run are something I'm struggling to come up with. The thing is I have written the entire story, doesn't mean it's coherent though, and a description for Myrddin still eludes me. Cyfrin does have one later on, I just forgot to add it here...
1. Add descriptions of places/people.
2. Control infodump.
3. Explain magic mechanics and set up Myrddin's magic.
4. Make finding egg less cheap.
5. Make clear this is not Eragon. Although I do wish it was now. Honestly I could never do that world justice though.
I think that's all?
Again, thanks! It's really nice to get a full perspective on this.
I only really like Murtagh and Thorn from Eragon so that's the only part I truly remember ^^
"This made complete sense in my head"
Yeah, THIS, this so much @.@ This is why outsiders are so valuable. It's what helped me improve so much too!
"Info dumping is one of my many weaknesses"
Hah but at least it's an easily fixable one with practice and trial and error~
Actually it's good that you have already written the entire story. Then you can clearly see where maybe more foreshadowing or more description is necessary for the cool later parts to make sense~
if you want you can tell me when you've reworked the chapter and I can take another look ^^
(Correction list looks good!)
I enjoyed this read. I haven’t delved into much fantasy since my Narnia days, so I approached this with relatively little familiarity with the genre. The prologue presents a delightful fantasy premise, and the relationship between Myrddin and Cyfrin adds personality to the narrative. The final revelation that the egg is a “true dragonkin” provides a clear hook. However, several smaller grammatical and mechanical errors interrupt the flow. “A a crack” is likely a typo; “some one” should be “someone”; and “stock still” should be “stock-still.” Proofreading would make a noticeable difference.
The prose also needs polishing, particularly regarding tense consistency. The story begins in the past tense with “I hauled myself up the side of the mountain,” but then shifts to the present tense with “The next day, I stand in a messy workshop.” This inconsistency occurs throughout the scene. Further, the opening relies heavily on exposition. Myrddin’s opening dialogue feels unnatural, as they apparently speak these facts aloud while alone. This information could be more effectively woven into the narration or revealed through Myrddin’s interactions with the environment. The worldbuilding would benefit from being integrated into the scene rather than presented as information for the reader to absorb. Slowing down to give major discoveries more sensory and emotional weight would significantly strengthen the story. The discovery of an extinct dragonkin should feel monumental and potentially frightening, but the current version often treats significant revelations as mere items on a checklist.
Thank you for this read.
Thanks for the feedback! All these things Ive been working on fixing but haven't quite been able to figure out. The tense slips should be fixed now