Autumn
Sights and sounds and smells and tastes
The leaves are falling
And the fire’s ablaze
Into the furnace I rest my gaze
Listening to the remaining birds calling:
“The leaves are shriveling
And flowers withering
It’s time for us, it’s time for us
To flee where we will be
Safe and warm in the North.”
But oh, not I. I’ll stay here,
In the fall til’ come the wintry blear.
But until then,
I’ll feel the smooth waxiness of pumpkin skins
The sharp wind making my eyes tear
And looking at my home from the outside
The warm light glowing in the countryside.
Soft flannels in my fingertips
A hot mug at my lips
Apples and cinnamon scents fill the kitchen
Creating an atmosphere that’s warm and inviting
All the world is perfect that morning,
That next evening,
Until we realize
The beauty of every season.
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142,318 Literary Works • 677,190 Reviews
Sounds like a Western Autumn.
The poem captures the sensory of Autumn in a fulfilling way. And one can find themselves relishing in that atmosphere you created in this poem. Because it's on Autumn this poem it feels like a crisp dry leaf of the color yellow.
It sounds so comfortable and I loved that. It reads like a poem I'd find in my textbook written by some William or Robert.
It's really vivid, I can feel the warmth of the furnace, the breeze that would send chills, and the hot mug! As currently it's Autumn it makes me want to observe those things personally, because of how soothing you made it seem.
If I had to choose certain lines as my favorite it'd be—
• This opening feels like it hit the spot so well. It already takes us to the place you're describing throughout the poem. I loved that for it.
Another one is—
It speaks on the connection with the season of fall. To choose to stay rather than go until the season turn.
It reminds of this song "Winter Ahead" by V that I heard years ago.
I liked the conclusion—
That's a beautiful way to put down the final fullstop.
One thing though, you wrote a line—
I guess it implies on birds? But birds migrate south for winter, not north ("Safe and warm in the North"). Adjusting this to South fixes the geographic logic while keeping the bird personification.
Overall, I really enjoyed it.
Happy Autumn~
@ArdenJinn is interested in this work hmmmm
Hey! I personally loved how this poem makes you feel so comfortable and makes you remember those autumn sensations. You can almost feel everything the speaker is feeling and thinking about in this poem. This makes the whole poem sound like an autumn morning where everything is calm and cozy.
I think I really liked the beginning of this poem.
It sets the scene and the atmosphere needed for this poem and I also liked how the speaker switched from the outside world to the fireplace so quickly.
The birds were also a fun touch. Their little announcement about going to the North gave this poem a fun fairytale like vibe.
The speaker even denies going with them and says that they would rather stay here. I think the speaker did a great job of personifying autumn and making it seem like their home.
I also loved the imagery used in the poem. The feel of the "smooth waxiness" of the pumpkin skin, how the cold air made the speaker's eyes water, the soft flannels, the hot mug, the apples and the cinnamon. All of these made the poem sound amazing and very specific which is always a good quality. I especially liked the descriptions in the middle of the poem where the moods change a bit.
I also liked the contrast between the cold and the warm. The speaker looked back at their house and saw how nicely it glowed which is a really nice touch. This gave the poem that autumn vibe again without being too dramatic.
The ending of this poem was also a really nice change. Throughout this whole poem the speaker was in love with the season but suddenly they realized that there are beauties in every season. I think this made the poem even better because it made it more thoughtful.
My only critique would be to play with the rhythm a bit in some longer lines. In some parts the poem almost has a musical feel to it while in others it can get a bit long winded. I think shortening some of the longer sentences would make this poem even better.
This is, in fact, a lovely and very cozy autumn themed poem. My favorite part would definently be the imagery as it made the poem sound very realistic and like something everyone should experience at least once in their life.
Lovely work!<3
I really liked reading this poem. I loved how you described autumn through so many different things, like the falling leaves, birds, wind, pumpkins, apples, cinnamon, and the warm mug. It made me imagine the whole scene in my head while I was reading.
I also liked how the poem had both a little sadness and a lot of warmth. The part about the birds leaving and the flowers withering felt kind of sad, but then the warm light, soft flannels, and hot drink made everything feel cozy again.
My favorite thing was probably how the poem ended by showing that every season has its own beauty. It made me think about how we sometimes focus on one season being better than another, when they all have their own little moments. Overall, this poem gave me a really calm and cozy feeling. Keep writing!