The steel creating glimmers for man’s home’s hearth.
Violent red-hot steel breaks—hammers peacing it apart.
The gentle dwarven smith lovingly wields his hammer.
He imbues steel with love straight from his gentle heart.
Weapons made from love turn smitavens foes into dust.
Banging and Clanging the violent era resounds with songs.
The Eternal Chants of Steel were forged this glorious day.
Peace came from music—but the violent era still prolongs.
His heart, clad in peace and love, transmits through a conduit.
The brilliant night sky shines straight to the true forge’s heart.
Hammers acting as an eternal means straight to his peaceful love.
The gentle dwarven smith’s brilliantly white clothes stand apart.
War of violence, lust, and pride—constantly beset our door.
The weapons imbued with love and peace save our souls.
Current violent war seems eternal—our hearts peace apart.
His weapons forge a new era; the old era is recorded in scrolls.
The gentle smith’s tools imbue weapons with true peace and love.
Violent War is still here, the gentle smiths weapons help us plan.
Weapons from his forge are eternaly here rightly we must use them.
The gentle dwarven smith uses us to create his vision of a good man.
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I love the extended metaphor of the forge and weapons! Extended metaphors can be difficult to do well, and I think you did quite decently. I love the way that you talk about the weapons concept, they are tools, and not automatically good or bad. I also adore how that contradicts the concept of war when it says
War is awful, violence is awful, weapons are simply the tools we use to both do so and protect ourselves from it.
This line helps clairfy the questions and imagery from the first stanza, and builds upon your message so well! I like how it sets up the third stanza too, which continues to delve into your symbolism and meaning.
One slight comment I have would be to perhaps use more synonyms within each stanza. Variation with word choice chould help the flow and strengthen your imagery. I understand the title of the war, and the blacksmith's characteristics, but maybe finding more adjectives would help build the world around?
Overall, I loved your poem!
Hi ColeAlan! My name is Jade and I am super excited to review your work today. The title caught my attention, as I love both fantasy and poetry, and was hoping this would be a cool blend. It defenitely was. Now let's get into the review!
sorry i clicked submit way too early : /