Stranger

by Him

Published March 11, 2013

12+

In Stranger

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My eyes opened. I was standing in a forest, alone. It was dark, the light could be fading away or the sun could just be rising. It was a bit breezy. But why was I lying down in the middle of a forest?
I slowly got to my feet as the wind nipped at my feet. Where were my shoes? Blonde hairs sprinkled on the tops of my feet, I must be blonde. I pulled back the sleeves of my flannel, more blond hairs on my arms, and some fell down in my face. I seemed to be a boy, but how old was I?
How had I forgotten everything about myself?
I took a step forward, I wobbled, but I was okay. I moved on, but I didn�t know where I�d be going. I realized as I walked that it was getting light, so it must be morning. It was a bit chilly, but only my nose was cold. I continued a bit more until something caught my eye. A flash of light. What was it?
I walked over to investigate. The branches were piled up over here, but not in a normal way. As I climbed over them I wondered what could do such a thing. I dropped down the other side and landed perfectly on my feet.
I found myself on top of a cliff. The wind was stronger here; almost a constant steam of it brushing past me, but it was warm. I don�t think I�ve ever felt warm wind before. I stepped towards the edge, but I kept from going too far, something told me it wouldn�t be safe.
As I peered over the side my jaw dropped for some reason, maybe shock. I was starring at rubble, building completely destroyed everywhere. The earth itself had been ripped open and I could see lava melting away what used to be a town. Strange metal polls had been twisted beyond anything I could recognize. I felt my foot bump into something and looked down.
I was looking at a doll, an old one. It had hair made of yarn and it was probably stuffed with cotton. Its face was painted on by hand, what was left of it. The left side of its face had been burned, but the rest of the doll was fine. �Oh God,� I said. �Where there people down there?� I asked aloud. My voice sounded deep and rough, but comforting, like an old friend greeting me after a long journey.
I saw a few embers fly up past me. �What could have done this?� I wondered picking up the doll. I felt a bug bite me and I slapped at it. I noticed something on my arm. I pulled back the sleeve on my left arm. There were words I hadn�t seen before, scars, carved there. �Free� I read. �Is that my name?� I wondered.
�How should I know?� a voice replied. I turned around. �Who�s there?� I asked, making my hand into a fist instinctively. �No one but me,� the voice called out again. It was a man�s voice. �Show yourself.� I demanded. �Look in your hand,� the voice replied. I looked down at the doll. �Yeah, it�s me genius.� A voice came from the doll.
I felt my eyebrows knit together in confusion. �How can you speak?� I asked the doll. �Using my voice box,� he said. �Are you okay bub? You don�t look so well,� the dolls voice had now gotten a more serious concerning tone. �I don�t know.� I said sitting down with the doll in front of me. The doll moved on its own and sat up right in front of me.
�I think I have amnesia, I can�t remember anything about myself. But I now what other things are, like trees, dolls, hair, and how to speak,� I confessed to the doll. �Maybe I�m insane; you could just be a figment of my imagination,� I thought aloud. �Sorry bud, I�m as real as they come. I�ll try to explain. Do you remember anything about history?� the doll asked. I shook my head and the doll threw up its hands. �You hopeless,� he told me.
�What�s your name?� I asked the doll. �Joshua, I wasn�t always a doll you know,� he said. �What were you before a doll?� I asked him. �A father,� he replied. �I lost my body a long time ago, my brain, heart, lungs, and blood are all in this doll, basically I�m the basic parts of a man, in a machine, wrapped up nicely in a doll.� Joshua explained.
�Why?� I asked. �I think we need to find other people first, I can tell you why much later, but first I�m gonna educate you bub,� he said standing up and walking over to me. He climbed up onto me and sat down on my shoulder.
�Where should we go?� I asked him as I got up. �Not to the towns, still to dangerous. Let�s head for those mountains,� Joshua advised. �Do you know what cause that?� I asked pointing to over the cliff. �Yes,� he replied in a gruff voice. I noticed his was much deeper, older, and had a scratchy sound to it. �Can you tell me?� I asked. �No,� he answered.
�But I�ll start your history lesson.�

End of Chapter One.

Comments & reviews · 4
User avatar
PumpkinCat
Comment
PumpkinCat commented Comment · Mar 13, 2013

I'd have to agree with LadyPurple. Overall I really like this story and I would like to hear more. :)

User avatar
LadyPurple
Review
LadyPurple wrote a review Review · Mar 13, 2013

You may need to break up your paragraphs. If, like me, this is the site messing up and you originally had it all broken up and stuff, ignore this next part.
It makes it easier on the eyes to read.
Also, I noticed you missed a few punctuation marks.
Another thing, the use of "I" is overused. Saying things like: I walked to him. I said hello. I walked to the door.
That gets a little old and it's a tad robotic.
"I was starring at rubble"
You meant 'staring'.
"Not to the towns, still to dangerous.”
You meant 'too'. ‘To’ is more like 'you're going to the store'. ‘Too’ is more like 'Stan is going too'.
Overall, I think the story could use some work. But I did find it interesting. Keep writing!
~LP

Him replied · Mar 19, 2013

LOVE GIR,
and yeah, don't know why my paragraphs went away. I noticed a bunch of the spelling and grammar errors after i posted it *face palm* but yeah. i'm hoping to post some new chapters soon

User avatar
LadyPurple
Review
LadyPurple wrote a review Review · Mar 13, 2013

You may need to break up your paragraphs. If, like me, this is the site messing up and you originally had it all broken up and stuff, ignore this next part.
It makes it easier on the eyes to read.
Also, I noticed you missed a few punctuation marks.
Another thing, the use of "I" is overused. Saying things like: I walked to him. I said hello. I walked to the door.
That gets a little old and it's a tad robotic.
"I was starring at rubble"
You meant 'staring'.
"Not to the towns, still to dangerous.”
You meant 'too'. ‘To’ is more like 'you're going to the store'. ‘Too’ is more like 'Stan is going too'.
Overall, I think the story could use some work. But I did find it interesting. Keep writing!
~LP

User avatar
Jonathan
Comment
Jonathan commented Comment · Mar 11, 2013

I think you might need to hit enter more often.
Why would you be scared of some rabble.
Your instead of you in you hopeless might be better.
O man this is awesome I have got to read another of your story's.:)



while she was studying the ways of pasta he was studying the ways of the sword
— soundofmind