I Miss You, I Do.
I miss you, truly I do.
I miss all the times we once had, all those times we hadn’t yet known would end.
That last sleepover we hadn’t known would be the last.
The last fond memory and hug we didn’t known would be soon gone, now bitter and saddened.
Our conversation now made with obligation. Not joy.
Not the joy and laughter we once shared together.
I miss how we used to be.
How young and unknowing we were of what’s to come, a time I long to return to.
A time that we now won’t share, not now, likely..not ever.
I stare at your face, a face I once had fondness for, and now I can’t help but feel anything but bittersweet.
That face I can’t stare at without knowing the past.
A past I now realize I crave, a past I know will not return.
I miss those words I once found happiness in sharing, not calculating, not a ounce of wary in, the words you once used against me.
And yet..I can’t hold it against you. Perhaps in the past, but not now, not as time continues on.
Time that I can not change, time that I can not plea to.
Time that I long to return to.
To a time where I didn’t have to miss you.
And now, I do.
I Miss You, I Do.
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142,249 Literary Works • 677,084 Reviews
Hello!
I really like this poem because it ends somehow so saddly but kind of well too! But I should talk about the end at the end, right?
The start is strong because it already shows the sadness and melancholy of the whole poem - the word "truly" is very effective there I feel, because it sounds far better than "really" or "quite" or something, and it fits the vibe well. Also, it enables the poem to start off with something like the title, but not perfectly the title, because if it had been the same it would have sounded bleak and overrepetitive. Good job there!
I like how you start with "I miss" again, it is a good transition. "The last sleepover we hadn't known would be the last" is so sad and yet so true: I can relate so much with that part!
Adding another example of a "last" something was a good idea too. It makes it so that your poem is not rushed and the reader does not stumble to the end; the way in which you managed to make your poem not too fast and yet not too slow is very good!
Aww nooo! ToT - This part is good at expressing the formal behavior between the two friends now.
Aha, the return of "I miss"!
This part is really strong at showing the melancholy of the poem! "How young and unknowing we were..." "...I long to return to..." The second line shows how great it is that this is a poem! Both friends will never share this, not with one another or anyone, but one of them made a poem about it <3 Is this a true story? You don't have to tell me oc!
Ah yes the word "bittersweet" is a very good choice there! It describes the poem well, how there are bitter memories but the narrator does wish the friendship still existed...
Aaaaaaah I hate this situation!!! (not in the poem, the poem is great, just in real life (; ) When you wish you could return to your friendship and everything, but you know that even if the other person also wished it you couldn't because it would be soooo awkward and horrible ToT
Your poem describes this very well.
Yaaaay! The narrator realises that they can't hold things against their friend. I can't decide if this is a happy moment because the narrator pardons the friend, or a sad moment because it shows the friendship was strong and it's so sad that it's now gone and never will return and ToT ToT ToT
(sorry)
Aaaah yes I can relate to this: time is cruel!
Awwwwww nooo! The use of the word "have" is so sad and yet such a good choice here. Well done!
This part is such a great ending!!! It's like the ending to a movie where the main character's true love dies... but at least no death here XD (well, maybe a little bit of heart is dead, but... ok no that sentence sounds wierd) I love how you finish with the title, really showing that it is the title by using caps and everything! Great great great job!!!
Overall, I really loved this poem! I can't think of any suggestions right now, but maybe some of the other reviewers have some? Anyways, thank you so much for posting this and sharing it with us!!! Please keep writing, and have a wonderful day
- HMMHhehe the potato
Queenie here for a review!
This reminds me so much of my friendship breakup that happened recently. I felt the same things that are explained in this poem. I still cannot bear to see her face even to this day because all it reminds me of is the past and the good times that I had before it all ended. I feel you so much; just know that you are not alone! I loved these parts a lot!!
I hope you have a good day and please never stop writing!
P.S - Love your profile pic!
Juke here! this piece caught my eye because of its somber tone and use of firm wording, but mainly because i can relate to this, no matter how deeply, and that’s something i really look for in poetry (relatability.) this is eternally beautiful and every single line speaks to me.
some of my favorites:
never stop writing!
~Juke
This is a very beautiful piece of poetry, and as someone who has lost a friend who I was quite close with, I understand the vulnerability in the feelings. In life you will always loose one person you are close with at the minimum, and this captures that very well. I really enjoyed reading what you wrote even if it was not bright and cheerful, good luck on your poetry. I wish you the very best on it and hope that healing and peace find you if they haven't already.
I really enjoyed this poem. The strongest aspect for me is the nostalgia it conveys. The line, “That last sleepover we hadn’t known would be the last,” captures the sentiment well. The repeated phrase “I miss you” gives the poem a cyclical quality. I appreciate how the poem gradually moves from missing the person to missing the relationship itself.
There are several instances where the idea of wanting to return to the past is repeated without further development. Cutting back on some of those repetitions could make the stronger lines stand out more. There are a few grammatical and wording issues, such as “didn’t known” and “not a ounce,” that disrupt the flow. I’d also be cautious with the term “bittersweet,” as the poem seems to lean more towards regret and grief rather than a true mixture of happiness and sadness.
Thank you for this read.