As I grow older
I get even more behind
I used to be smart
The top of the class
Now I’m lucky to get a B
It feels horrible
Makes me uneasy
Like one day I’ll drift away
From all humanity
Be a nobody
As useless as a glass hammer
As if I will shatter
If used only once
Then discarded
Thrown away
Like a candy wrapper
Left on the side of the road
Many people say
That I will not slip away
I do not believe them
I probably won’t even finish school
Drop out
Be stuck working a dead-end job
Barely getting by
Barely living
Just a shell
A husk
That will blow away in the wind
Never mentioned
Forgotten
Left behind
Forever
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142,603 Literary Works • 679,108 Reviews
Hey, it is I, abcisbest! Today I am reviewing using the marvelous YWS S'more Method!
Top Graham Cracker - What I Know
This is about the anxiety that any and every "gifted" teenager gets: being left behind. Being someone who didn't have to study much early in my boyhood, when the time came where the subjects crossed me, the discipline of studying was something I had not learnt, and I too was left behind due to it. Luckily that's all fixed now, but this is a very real experience many people have, and you've captured it very well!
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - Room for Improvements
Right now, it feels a little unpolished. The imagery is nice, but its all so very direct, and poetry must make you work to get its meaning. There should be awe and a feeling of a voyage, a euraka at points, and niche, memorable imagery. Don't get me wrong, your imagery is very very lovely, and so is your metaphors, but it's more the way you've expressed them, so as to be so direct, all the time, that loses the spark. Your imagination is great!
Chocolate Bar - Highlights of the Piece
Due to the structure of the poem, there isn't one specific line(s) I love, but overall, the way each metaphor builds on the other, with this very staircase like rhythm is ✨ marvelous ✨, it feels very real, and mimicks the very real anxiety you're talking of!
Closing Graham Cracker - Closing Thoughts
Overall, loved the poem, keep going! Happy writing!!!
This poem hits incredibly hard because that fear of losing your potential feels so heavy and real. The imagery you used, like comparing yourself to a glass hammer or a crumpled candy wrapper on the road, is honestly amazing and paints such a clear picture of that anxiety. It perfectly captures how exhausting it is to feel like you're falling behind while everyone else expects you to just be fine. Ending it on that idea of becoming something worse, I get it as I love writing about anxiety and seeing the different takes on it!