I won. I always win. From innocent hide-and-seeks to loitering in alleyways to confined toxic teenage secrets… But you must’ve practiced searching while I’m gone, because you always find me. On brighter days, we ventured on the clear, cloudless beach hand-in-hand, my shadow swallowed by quicksand; my secrets cradled away by wave crests. ‘Hold mummy’s hand,’ you warned me in our reveries, ‘so you’re not lost at sea.’ Now I’m reaching up to your fingers, up where you live, proud of your winning streaks. Now tears streak my face because goddesses like you can’t discover hell. Now I win forever.
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142,241 Literary Works • 677,072 Reviews
Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
Shalt we commence with the macabre S’more?
Top Graham Cracker - The boy has finally won a game of hide and seek with his Mom by going too far for her to find, but at what cost? Now she’ll never see him again.
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - Hmm…perhaps it could be longer, but those are just my thoughts. You don’t have to follow this if you don’t want to.
Chocolate Bar - I like that the boy sees his mother as a goddess who won’t find him because she doesn’t think to look there. He’s won but he’s still all alone. I like the part where she tells him to stay close on the beach too, the waves are like the world that might snatch anyone away.
Closing Graham Cracker - Overall, a sad tale about bonds breaking, about people going apart. I have enjoyed reading this and I will think to read some of your other stories. And now…
I wish you a fantastical day/night! ^v^
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed! I'll definitely make it longer
And your interpretation of it was exactly what I had in mind
Have a nice day/night^v^
Lightswitch.
yw!
Hey guys any comment welcome~~
Please help me out I’m not sure if this short story fully communicates what is in the description.
Thank you
Lightswitch