her eggshell eyes
ungleaming in the moonlight
her deckled edges
flipping sharply in the breeze
her scarlet blush
the color of paper cuts
that hueless face
could be altruistic
those enveloping caresses
that fill me with nausea
they must surely have
some purpose, some benefit
she pulls passing thoughts
from the ether and feeds them
breeds them into monsters
that steal joy and peel back eyelids
that coagulate into a screaming
grotesque sense of self
that part of me which
i dare not speak of
there are few ways to hold her back
all treatments but not cures
i can ignore her till she tires of me
or draw her a face and give her a name
my chelsea
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142,249 Literary Works • 677,084 Reviews
this poem was amazing
i loved how the poems mood slowly changed from sweet to dark, it was a surprise and made it so much more interesting, i really liked the metaphors and similes in the beginning "her eggshell eyes"
"her scarlet blush the color of paper cuts" they were super unique comparisons and descriptions that really made me picture the person. at the end you said she was a voice inside your head, which didn't become clear until you stated it, but if you wanted the reader to think that she was real then it works either way. i loved reading this poem
A Butterfly has landed to review your work! <3
Hey Milesperhour! A Butterfly has landed to review your work, and I really enjoyed reading this. There's just such an unsettling sense of unease, as the poem slowly unveils Chelsea's place as not just a person or figure, but a manifestation that the speaker is struggling to contain.
The Egg
My first impression was that this poem has a very eerie, almost fairy-tale quality to it. The descriptions of Chelsea immediately give her an uncanny quality to her.
The Caterpillar Hatches
What drew me into reading this was the gradual transformation that Chelsea goes through, from almost pretty to more and more menacing. I particularly loved these lines:
I love the delicate sound in this stanza, and yet words like 'ungleaming' and 'flipping' and 'sharply' are already putting off some strange aura of wrongness.
Growing & Molting
I really enjoyed how this poem gradually shifts from simply describing Chelsea's physical form to what she does to the speaker. I think the flow from stanza to stanza is excellent, and each time her physical appearance is described, it becomes more and more of a psychological description.
Spinning the Chrysalis
The structure is great in that each stanza reveals a new part about who or what Chelsea is. I also really liked that this poem doesn't immediately reveal who or what Chelsea is. It allows the reader to put the pieces together themselves.
The Transformation
The imagery is, in some parts, pretty intense. I think I had to re-read some of the stanzas to really process it. However, I think that this really helps add to the almost overpowering sense of unease that the poem carries.
Wings Taking Shape
The best part for me was this section:
I think this is the point where the poem really transforms from just being creepy to really diving into the psychological. I really liked this part, the idea that thoughts can be turned into something monstrous enough to take up residence in one's head.
Breaking Free
The ending was probably my favourite part. Giving Chelsea a face and a name makes it seem as if the whole poem was a prelude to that moment.
It is such a great weight, that final couplet, to the whole reading experience.
First Flight
I found this piece overall to be atmospheric, unsettling, yet with a surprising psychological edge. The horror really seemed more about the internal than the external, and this really appealed to me.
Favorite Nectar
My favourite part was definitely the use of naming something frightening as 'Chelsea'. It really made her seem more like an acquaintance, which I think is where the power of the ending lies.
Lovely work! <3
Wow, this is an amazing poem! I absolutely love the line:
It perfectly blends imagery and metaphor to create a clean crisp picture to your readers. Also, the poem slowly blends from a personal description to a horrifying interaction to what i believe is a mother daughter duo? If that;s what you;ve aimed for then you've nailed it perfectly. And the last line:
That really wraps the whole poem together beautifully. Overall, this is an amazing poem - There isn't really anything I would fix, but please spend some more time doing poetry and share some more with us!