Published October 17, 2005
In a world where these word
Are just sounds
Like a desperate plea
From a woman
Who had just lost her dignity.
Who are they to judge?
They rip the rug
Right from under
A woman’s true being.
True calling.
This forces a woman
To feel desperate.
Because we keep
Want to hold on
To truth.
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142,291 Literary Works • 677,138 Reviews
I have to agree. It seemed like you had a good idea hiding somewhere under all the vagueness, but I couldn't find it. I have no idea what this poem is supposed to be about, but judging from some of your images, I think you have the potential to really fix this up.
~Areida
Add an 's' to word.
These words are sounds? Could I get a little more description please?
And these are...?
What forces a woman to feel desperate? You tell too much when you should show. This poem is simply too skeletal to make much sense.
The last three lines don't make sense. Is it: "Because we keep/ the want to hold onto/truth"?
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Seriously, show don't tell. I had no way to identify with this poem because you were telling me what to think. This requires no thought or imagination and that makes it boring. A complete overhaul is necessary.
Wow, this is great. I really like it. Good work!
Wow, that was brilliant. You seem to portray a women almost perfectly to my perspective (can you read minds??).
Navaer
~Lozareth~