You did know I didn't tell you, that the name you heard was yours
That some nights I find myself asleep after all those countless hours.
That night you saw me sitting on my bed crying,
After all how could I after I saw you dying.
It was by my hand, yet still I couldn't tell you this
The blade against my hip was the one that fell you, after giving you a kiss
That never would I have dreamed of hurting you yet still it was me who did.
I promised you to stay, and in the end I never hid.
Yet somehow I feel, when I look into your eyes
Those beautiful hazels, that look like trees as they touch the skies.
They haunted me even after I felled you,
My love why can I not tell you what is true
I stayed with you long after the light left them,
After your body had gone cold, lips blue, blood staining your hem.
Still I could not have stopped myself, doing that evil thing
I hate that I did it, even thought it was a dream.
So my love can you still love me? Can you bear my soul?
WIthout you in my chest through my heart there seems a black cavernous hole
So please forgive me that I didn't tell you,
I was the one who did it in that nightmare about you.
So my love I understand if you leave
How even forgiveness doesn't spread to a dream.
If hell has a place for me, I hope heaven finds you dear
Because not every dream's a wish, didn't you hear?
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142,322 Literary Works • 677,257 Reviews
I love the dark genre of the story and how the confusion is slowly lifted as we gradually understand what happened. Plz do more!!
I definitely will! I will be editing it soon and adding a sequel poem to it as well!
This poem has such a dark and emotional storyline. I really liked how the truth was slowly revealed instead of being explained all at once. The guilt in the speaker’s words felt very strong, especially when they kept questioning whether they could still be loved after what happened. I also liked the ending because the line about not every dream being a wish brings the whole nightmare together in a really interesting way. The hazel eyes and tree imagery were beautiful too.
Thank you! I appreciate the input! I love writing and hope to do some additional poetry to continue the story in the future!
Yeah
Hey Pike! Today I’ll be reviewing your beautiful poem!
I found “The Nightmare I Didn’t Tell You” to be terrifying because Pike u managed to make the guilt felt from the action that only happened in a dream frighteningly realistic. Despite technically not happening, the effects of the dream incorporated in the poem make me sympathize with the narrator.
What caught my attention in the poem was the gradual unveiling of the content of the nightmare. I did not know what happened, so I had to read the whole poem to find out. The lines
were the ones that made me become more interested in reading further. I wanted to find out what could have prompted such feelings of guilt. What I liked about the poem is that the narrator keeps referring to the person they had a nightmare about. This made a lot of difference for me, personally, because the poem then felt like a genuine confession. The most relatable part of the poem, for me, was the sense of guilt that the narrator feels guilty for something that was only a dream, not reality. The fact that the narrator admits that it was a dream does not take away the feeling that they are responsible for the horrific experience that just occurred in their head. I think it is fascinating how the guilt is still there even when the reason for the guilt is not real. Dreams and the feelings that come with them are sometimes indistinguishable from reality, unfortunately.
is, in my opinion, one of the best endings to a poem about an action that the speaker regrets doing. I believe the poem could have been more impactful if the author provided the reader with more insight into what exactly the nightmare was about.
The last lines of the poem are also what I found most relatable about the poem:
They gave the whole poem a different meaning for me, one that is not shallow and not based on a single feeling. Not every dream is a wish, but sometimes they only hold fears that we are not consciously aware of. My advice to the author is to work on their word choice and punctuation since some parts of the poem seem broken or misplaced. I would also like to see more development in the part of the poem where the narrator expresses their concerns about their guilt being unfounded. Overall, I liked the poem the sense of guilt that the narrator feels guilty for something that was only a dream, not reality. The feeling of dread that the dream had lingered too long after it was over to not influence the real world.
Lovely work!<3
~hira♡
Thank you! I really appreciate the feed back and will take all of it into consideration when re-writing it in the future! Thank you so much again. I will definitely keep into consideration when writing the later pieces of the story told in this poem!
Thank you again hira!
~PikeFisher