Tail Held High

by Snoink

Published September 2, 2006

In Poetry

I had a tiny little dream
Where I was being followed
By a tiger, gray and black
Hiding in my shadow

At first I thought – ignore him.
That ghastly looming sight
Of a silent tiger
Trailing me by night.

But as we rambled onward
I hastened up my pace –
First a walk and then a jog –
A run and then a race!

He never ran, my tiger,
But he never fell behind
And so we rushed together
In a single little line.

And while I raced on, panicked,
A big hawk swooped down low
A great rock in its talons
Which at me it did throw

With a cry, I threw myself
Deep within the ground
When beside me came a roar
With a most amazing sound.

The tiger sprang up at the rock, and
With a mighty padded paw,
The rock burst into a million stars –
The tiger opened up his jaw…

He leapt up higher, higher still
And swallowed up the hawk –
Feathers tumbling from his mouth –
He smiled and then he dropped.

Out of the sky and onto the land –
I was very much afraid
Still, I crept close to the tiger
And saw him where he lay:

His eyes pulled shut, his paws outstretched
His body gleaming red
And as I walked up closer still,
I thought that he was dead.

My heart felt sick, my body shook
And as I began to weep
His yellow eyes blinked open,
And with a tigery creep:

He stood up and winked at me
Before running in the night
And the last thing I saw of him
Was his tail holding high.

Comments & reviews · 6
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Snoink
Comment
Snoink commented Comment · Sep 8, 2006

Well... she's obsessed with caps lock, if you couldn't tell, lol.

And I think she means comparison as metaphors. So she uses them interchangably. I think...

And yeah. The double syllable thing I was aiming for. Gah! Writing poetry is like playing suduko. You try to fix a line and end up having to replace the whole damn board. :P

User avatar
Poor Imp
Review
Poor Imp wrote a review Review · Sep 8, 2006

I enjoyed it, Snoink. Of the rhyme, no complaints...except for the very last line --

And the last thing I saw of him
Was his tail holding high.


...his tail was holding - what high? The double syllable was what you wanted? Was his tail held high makes more sense.

The teacher wrote this about it:

He stood up and winked at me
Before running in the night
And the last thing I saw of him
Was his tail holding high. REWORK THIS TO FOCUS THE "COMPARISON" HERE? THIS IS SWEET AND FUNNY... IS IT A KIND OF CHILDREN'S STORY?


...This is your professor talking? --Is she perhaps confused? o0' ^_~

Focus comparison - joys of vagary.

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Snoink
Comment
Snoink commented Comment · Sep 8, 2006

The teacher wrote this about it:

He stood up and winked at me
Before running in the night
And the last thing I saw of him
Was his tail holding high. REWORK THIS TO FOCUS THE "COMPARISON" HERE? THIS IS SWEET AND FUNNY... IS IT A KIND OF CHILDREN'S STORY?



What do you think she means by it? ^_^;;

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Griffinkeeper
Comment
Griffinkeeper commented Comment · Sep 5, 2006

Words fail me.

User avatar
Dream Deep
Comment
Dream Deep commented Comment · Sep 2, 2006

I love it love it love it love it, a million times love it but then I think I already told you that. :wink:

Great job, Snow Pig.



~Dreamy ^_^



I have lived through much, and now I think I have found what is needed for happiness. A quiet secluded life in the country, with the possibility of being useful to people to whom it is easy to do good... then rest, nature, books, music, love for one's neighbor - such is my idea of happiness.
— Leo Tolstoy