My bleak and desolate life consists of nothing to the point that I am hollow. When I was young, I had a dream, a dream so nice it kept me going. Now, the dream had depleted to nothing more than fantasy. I had torn my flesh until there was nothing of me left…to the point that I am hollow.
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Omg I love the rhythm in this short intro! The repetition of “I am hollow” feels empty and monotone, in my opinion, and I think this really adds to the mood.
Hey there! Welcome to the site! Hope you love it here and wish you the best of luck with your story - it sounds intriguing, deep and broody! I would love to hear more (even in this short summary) about the contents of the dream... do you mean like a literal sleep dream or a dream of like a metaphor for hope? I also think you have a bit of a mixed metaphor with the torn off flesh and hollowness - > those two aren't quite making sense together for me.
As a friendly suggestion in the future sometimes folks post writing about their story over in the "Writers Corner Forum" rather than in the literary center. If you love novel writing, you should check out Novel Month this November! It's a great activity we have on YWS to encourage writers to write their novels!
Happy writing!
A
This is a short story, but what it lacks in length, it gains meaning. This is honestly relatable, and that low-key scares me. Enough about me though. The phrase ‘I am hollow’ is quite good, because of its hidden meaning when used in the text. Good story, and I can’t wait to read more of your work!
Thank you so much! I'll try my best to continue this story when I have time lol.
Yas!! You so should!
I would be very interested in reading this. I feel like the story could go in so many different ways that even that itself interests me. It is well written and still has enough suspense and interest to make me wanna engage with more of the story. I would be very interested to read more because I feel this felt me with enough that I was wanting more from it. You do a good job with the imagery and making it feel real while relating it to something that I am sure a lot of people feel close to as we all grow up and go through different experiences. This feels like a story that has the potential to be very well written if you continue the good descriptors throughout and continue working that same imagery. This give the vibe of a story that is very easily built to be a cannot put it down type of read which I find perfect for me. The concept its self is just good. If all I read was the title, I would be interested and I am. Everything about this feels well written and like a good amount of thought was put into the idea and that even more thought would continue to be put in instead of it being a half baked idea. While it may feel simplest, it still connects strongly with me and I sure it does with others. I would definitely like to read more of this and plan it once there is more. I'm really excited to get to read more!
Wow, thanks!! I'll try to get more points to publish more of this story!