Published January 31, 2009
The waves crash down on me, burying me in my past.
Stay there you child, you do not know enough to talk.
I get beat down with their words, their unintelligent assumptions.
The wind blows me ten steps back every time I move an inch.
I reach to the sky, palms extended upright.
I curl my fingers around a star, it’s jagged edges cut me.
Human reactions scream at me, demanding the obvious reaction which I ignore.
I hold on tighter, gripping this last string of hope.
This here is my light.
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142,252 Literary Works • 677,086 Reviews
Hey there!
I'm Angel and I shall be your reviewer today.
To tell you the truth, this is really jumbled or not all together. You have two stanzas that don't seem to connect. Think of this as a railroad track. If this track were not glued together, well the train would be at a standstill, you know? Elaborate on this. If it helps, write down a few notes about what you're trying to portray here otherwise I'm not getting a sense of the voice that's talking here. Make this come from the heart.
My suggestion would be to scrap this and start over or try to make this a little bit better.
If you have any questions, feel free to PM me.
~Angel