You do not need to be beautiful
To be a victim.
You need not be perfect, grand nor great.
But you do not take up the label of victim for the sake of your kin.
To fold that label from your kin and wrap it around yourself is to choose much more carefully your feuds.
If we are all the victim of every crime we are all dead beings, waking and walking
Dead students in a place out of reach, bombed, shot and stung
Dead parents, killed by war rage and poverty
Dead people, lining the streets and obscured internet files.
If you walk and talk as if you are bloodied and dead who are you to tell us?
The dead line the streets, but what have you done?
No voice remains after a body is hung.
(The whispers do not quiet, people still talk)
Do not speak over them.
The kind act, and take smiles and with their bruised hands fix.
You do not have to scream to be heard.
(You just have to be there)
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142,241 Literary Works • 677,072 Reviews
Hello Therwormwriter! It's AJ here for a review. This is a really cool poem and I like how you dove into this theme. This is something that should be brought to more people's attention due to how prevalent it is in our society. I relate very strongly to this too.
Oh this is beautiful. The victims that are brought to the public eye are always these important figures, these beautiful people. Yet, us ordinary people are left. We aren't important enough. We aren't beautiful, so why would this happen to us?
I like having "To be a victim." as its own line but I also think you could remove the line break between 'beautiful' and 'To'. I'd read it aloud and see what you think would be best.
I love this section. You're telling so much truth and you're making sure that people don't abuse this title of 'victim'. Although, title isn't quite right for what this is. I'll think on that.
The last line is a little funny. I'd add a 'then' between 'crime' and 'we'.
Wow. Using these examples. Gorgeous.
I love how 'done' and 'hung' rhyme. It gives it this cadence that the rest doesn't have. I don't know if that's on purpose but it's really good.
I like the addition of the lines in parentheses. I do wish that you had incorporated that earlier though. It feels a little out of place.
Overall, this is such a gorgeous poem. I'd love to see more of your works! There's just a few small things.
Keep living and writing!
AJ
PREACH. 👏👏👏love this so much! amazing pacing and use of wording to make it feel like I could even relate to this if i had no experience with it.
Thanks again!
I love this so much!! Your imagery and analogies are just chef's kiss. I just enjoy poems featuring dark themes; I would love to read more works like this.
Thank you very much! This is honestly one of my darker poems bit it's also more recent as i have been learning to lean into the dark to amplify the good in the dark