The moors they used to sing,
And the highlands answered back.
Such happiness their song would bring,
To our campfires 'round the loch.
~
The moors would lull in mournful tones,
And the highlands wind hummed all the day.
But the truest sound came from men's bones,
When their feet did meet the ground.
~
The moors called out,
And the highlands cried,
For an answer without doubt.
And so we gathered at the river's bank.
~
T'was here the river dance was born,
For the song of the moors and the highlands.
And it rings forever like a horn.
When our feet connect to Earth.
~
And I pray you too will hear it,
As the years go rolling on.
This dance is the perfect fit,
To the heart song of our home!
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142,249 Literary Works • 677,084 Reviews
I've been reading poems all day, but I've have yet to see such personification as yours.
I love that you put so many earth elements and it really shines through. I really liked the tone of this passage it gave real feeling.
I really think you should keep writing and finding new things to be your muse. It seems like you enjoy it because your work is very lively. I love that about this piece.
Thanks so much!
This is a good poem, and mostly flows well. I like the rhythm, as well as your word choice. However, there are a few lines that sound like they have to many syllables.
And the higlands wind hummed all the day.
You don't have to do it but maybe this?:
And highlands wind hummed all the day.
Also:
And I pray you too will hear it,
As the years go rolling on.
This dance is the perfect fit,
To the heart song of our home!
Could be:
And I shall pray you too will hear it,
while the years go rolling on.
A dance that is the perfect fit,
to the heart song of our home!
You only have one word spelled wrong that I saw, which is words highlands being higlands. Overall, good job! I really like this poem!
Thank you for the suggestions!