This poem includes the Bible verses 1 Corinthians 19-20. They are in quotes. While they are not my own words, everything not quoted is. This is a freestyle poem so the standard rules of rhyming and line length do not apply. All capitalization is a conscious choice, so please consider the merit of it rather than the correctness. Please enjoy!
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For anyone who would find it useful, here is the text version of the poem <33
"Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit..."
Spoiler
i stare in the mirror,
tracing the lines of where he leaned against me
every moment makes my skin burn
if i am a temple
i am one that's been robbed of its gold
and my artwork is stained with graffiti
there is no honor here
"...who is in you, whom you have received from God?"
the holy spirit wasn't there then
in the way i bite my tongue until i taste blood
the way i fold in on myself
like a temple made of cards and not
marble or gold or something holy
i am insubstantial
there is no honor here
"You are not your own; you were bought at a price."
i pick myself apart
and ship each piece to the highest bidder
a slice to comfort
a sliver to shoulder his burdens
my altar bears gorgeous fruit
but my priestesses are all starving
there is no honor here
"Therefore honor God with your bodies."
i stare in the mirror
and i can feel every stolen valuable
the acts of blasphemy committed against me
if i am a temple
then i have nothing left to give
but God just smiles
and tells me to give more
Hey there, WeepingWisteria! I know I said I'll review this for you a while ago but I got sidetracked and have been looking for an excuse since then. Thought I'd devote my train ride to this, and I'm glad to see you got one review already <3
I love how the italic lines are incredibly meaningful and seem like guidance from a spiritual presence. They interrupt the narrator's ambiguity and doubts to offer direction, and that's very beautiful!
I like how you justify the title instantly, and the implication here that the narrator bears the Holy Spirit in themselves as well.
Touching imagery! This appears too long at first glance but flows quite effortlessly. There's also this subtle hint that their lover is no longer with them, and that adds a layer of sadness to the narrative.
Wow, the narrator seems to be countering the comforting voice with their pain. To depict a temple as some holy place, then reducing it to nothing once the gold has been robbed from it- is poetic genius! It lands very well and I like the contrasting metaphors of robbed temple and defiling graffiti. It's certainly an interesting choice, since I'd never relate the two- one being religious and one being a rather forbidden expression of art. Also love you repeat the honor line later, definitely enhances impact!
The way these two go so well together while being contradictory, amazes me! The direction the voice is guiding then towards appears to have no effect on the narrator whatsoever. You'd think it'll soothe, but the narrator's ache is clearly overpowering it.
Good as the imagery is, I think it comes across abruptly in its verse. It doesn't fit with the line before or after, and it might be best to do away with it for flow's sake.
I love how fragile this part depicts the narrator to be! Impressively tender. The way it complements and expands the previous imagery is also quite commendable!
These lines look like they're working together, but I conclude that to be a clever misdirection. The narrator is selling themself, and that's only possible if they are their own owner. The calming voice had clearly suggested otherwise though.
Ahhhh, simply too good, Wist! I'm a huge fan of how you manage to keep adding to the whole temple metaphor, despite it looking forced or repetitive. That must take a lot of thought and skill!
And I can already tell they don't comply, though it's no real fault of their own. They're broken beyond help, and the hopelessness really gets to you..
Love the vocabulary and depth of emotion here!
The mismatch is made incredibly obvious here! The narrative tears you between the broken character and the God who just wants them to heal. Great work, Wist!
This was truly amazing, hope to read more from you soon~
Love, Alex
Thank you for the wonderful review!! I always love reading what other people think the theme is. I'm glad you enjoyed the poem. :]
What is it with everyone requesting poetry =D But here I am anyway!
Okay, I read Ellie’s poem first and also find her lines a bit hard to read compared to the standard text. So I guess I give you the same feedback: Yes looks very beautiful but also v small ☹
Ohh everything in me curls up when ppl talk abt their bodies as “defiled, honourless temples” It makes me think that the worst thing happened to them and instead of realizing that this wasn’t their fault they instead fall into the doctrine that now they are somehow ruined…
Hmmm second stanza also mentions a temple, this time made from cards, flimsy. As if gold is somehow holier than paper, huh?
Love the repetition of the ending verse!
Third stanza makes me think that this might be abt prostitution?
“my altar bears gorgeous fruit
but my priestesses are all starving“
Ohh these lines are BEAUTIFUL. I do not know how to connect that to the theme. Is it that the person is conventionally attractive but the system running underneath is malnourished, mistreated?
The ending lines of the final stanza are HAUNTING. Ahhh shivers! What a beautiful poem!
(Can’t believe you didn’t get any reviews for it. Idk if this is worthy of being called a review. Poetry is not my strong fort)
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Thank you for your review! I'm sorry the text was small, but I hope the written version in the pinned comment helped. You are right in that this poem is about s***** harassment, but the idea of it being about prostitution is valid too! I'm glad you enjoyed the poem <3
i felt this poem. each line was impactful, the next even more so. thanks for sharing this one <3 i keep finding myself rereading it again and again.
Oh my gosh!! That means so much to me. I'm glad you found it so impactful. Thanks for reading!
This poem is so extremely raw, Wist <3 I love it so much!
Thank you! I'm glad I like it!!!
*you like it omg shdsfgskldf
LOL XD