Scream into the void. Scream
into the darkness, dream, dream
of the spaces between One and Zero, On and Off
scream, so the void may hear, for it may seem
hopeless, empty
It is not
It is not empty, where electricity once was
between each blip, each keyboard pause
we hear the voices, kin to kin
the silent “likes”, “kudos”, applause
for words found
In hearts
In our hearts, we share, we write, we draw
we wrest from artificial jaw
our skills. Our blood, our passion, our love
with each desperate breath, we claw
we scream
We scream
We scream into the void, we share, we share
our love, our hope, for it all, our care
for the void may seem empty, between On and Off
One and Zero, electron flare
it echoes
It echoes back
Our voices. And we’re screaming.
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Canary word: Present
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142,241 Literary Works • 677,072 Reviews
I love this poem. I particularly enjoy how the structure goes from 5 lines each stanza to only 4 lines in the last full stanza, as it feels like the chaos and futility of the first few stanzas has been calmed down into a more conclusive pattern, with the last line of the stanza being b in the aaba rhyme scheme. This feels much more stable than the aabac rhyme scheme of the previous stanzas. I like that perhaps whilst the content stays the same- the recurring imagery of tech voids, pointlessness and pain- the structure provides a sort of comfort at the end. I like to think that this reflects how, whilst our lives and the issues we face may stay the same, having an outlet (such as yws), no matter how much engagement it receives, can provide a stable, safe place to release these emotions.
How accurate do you feel this analysis is? I would love to know. I love this poem, and how you experiment with structure! Keep up the good work!
p.s. my favourite phrase was 'electron flare'. Beautiful!
Thank you for the comment! Your interpretation is pretty accurate - I was trying to make it look like, even though there seems to be a nothingness there, no "Life" but just "machine" (this whole thing was meant as a commentary on AI), that since we still engage, we still talk to each other, we still create, we can make ourselves heard.
Ah okay! Love that concept
That was so true. Your writing is so gorgeous. My only question is if this is a commentary on social media, or a different part of technology? I love how this poem is so blunt. Technology is a blessing, but when misused, it can feel like it's weighing down. I think the repetition of the screaming is very smart. Especially since when things are posted online, it is like screaming into a void. It makes a person feel validated, but only so many people actually look at their post. Anyways, enough of my tangent! I loved this poem, and I think that you truly did a wonderful job! Keep writing, you are so good at it! Also, I like how you don't directly say that technology is the problem, you say why it is. And that is so cool!!!
Hey, thank you! First of all, I'm really happy you liked my poem~ It is actually supposed to be a comment on AI, but it does work really well for social media as well, now that I look at it. It's basically meant to be about the fact that art brings us together, even when it feels like everything is against us
Because, yes, new technology isn't the issue precisely, it is how people use it.