Published May 14, 2010
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142,310 Literary Works • 677,173 Reviews
Thanks a lot to all of you =) I deleted one stanza and changed the very last phrase. It should stick to the main theme of the poem and I hope it clears a bit the image of what I'm talking about ^^ It might be still confusing, but I guess that's the way I write for now =S
Again thanks a lot!
I see you really took time to work on this pieces, your constructive english, rhythm and imagery was cool.
But what i think you really did not pay attention to what the meaning of your poem is, making it more meaningful and easy to understand by your audience, as an audience i wont want to crack my brain in other to understand what a poem istalking about, i should be able to grasp it at the end of the poem.
Any way keep writting the more the better
Cant find anything i dont like about this Poem!!
Absolutely amazing! Keep writing
The only things I could think of were some things involving Heaven and... the opposite, and stuff like that. Like when you said a field of liars, made you want to flee, and shadows.