The Nomad

@ArdenJinn likes this very much

Hey there, It's Queenie with a review!

I liked this a lot; it is really short, but it expresses a lot. I am wondering if it is part of a whole story or something like that.
Straight to the point, now.

He relished the sight of the horizon, where rugged cliffs thrust beyond;

He felt the wave of the currents crash against, drenching him and his feet in every step of the way—the smell of salt rusted the air.
Over the hills and far away, the red-orange glow of the dawn was slowly swallowed by the sea.

The cotton clouds filled the blank blue skies.

Hi there! Lim here with a review.

The shape of the poem stands out to me because it blends the look of a free verse poem with that of a short story or a prose poem. The stanzas are visually separated by blank space, but the sentences are long and continue on to the next line, like prose. It leaves me wondering: is this a narrative poem, or perhaps a poem with narrative elements to it?

Something I like about the writing is how you've given us specific images and descriptions. I think these help us imagine the scene and situate the poem in this solitary, natural landscape. I particularly like how the poem begins "As he anchored his longship ashore", as that immediately shows us who the central subject of the poem is: a traveller or sailor, probably someone important enough to warrant having a longship - and yet, despite needing a crew to row a longship, this figure is portrayed alone, emphasising this mood of solitude.

When I read the poem overall, I get this sense of conflicting moods. The image "rugged cliffs thrusts beyond" gives this impression of wildness and freedom, and the idea of clouds being like "cotton" on blue sky makes me think of an idyllic, peaceful landscape. However in the next stanza, phrases like "crash against" and "drenching" feel more negative. "Over the hills and far away" reads to me like a phrase in a children's story, which suddenly introduces a whimsical feeling, but then the "dawn was slowly swallowed by the sea", a choice of words that seems more ominous and foreboding.

The image that stands out to me the most is "the smell of salt rusted the air". It brings back that feeling of wildness, of ruggedness that was introduced through the cliffs at the start. At the same time, "rust" may also have connotations of something decaying, of being neglected, so there are also these conflicting feelings. At the moment, I don't really get a sense of how these different images fit together. Are they showing that the "he" is conflicted about his arrival? Or do they depict something about the landscape itself?

In the last stanza, the Nomad quite suddenly decides on what this all means: an expedition that is "all but nought". What's clear to me is that he is lost, taken out of his usual surroundings, and in some kind of 'wilderness'. What's not so clear to me is why he is here. If it was "all but nought", there must have been some purpose to his trip, or maybe something he was expecting or wishing for. Was he hoping he would find something other than empty, wild land? And if so, why did he "relish" the sight initially? What made him change his mind? I've noticed this poem is part of a longer collection, so maybe these questions will be explored more in future pieces.

Overall, I like the premise and focus of this piece. I think it sketches this idea of someone who feels alone in an unfamiliar situation and is dealing with various feelings from the thrill of exploration to the burden of solitude. Some suggestions I would have would be to think about how you'd like the different images to be interpreted by the reader, and how you can signal where the 'narrative' of the poem is going. Adding more lines or images to connect them might be helpful (but that of course depends on your overall project/ intent).

Hope this helps, and keep writing!
-Lim

Hey, I really liked this! The imagery is all very beautiful; the cliffs, the clouds of cotton, the waves crashing, the red orange dawn being swallowed by the sea. It's all very cinematic, almost like it's the beginning of an adventure film.

The contrast between the lovely view and the loneliness it inspires is very well done as well. Suddenly with "I am far from home" it all feels so much more pensive and solitary.

The longship imagery is very fitting, I thought. It's easy to imagine it rocking back and forth on the waves as the Nomad arrives at an unknown place.

And of course I loved the ending, naming the land the untitled, nameless land and the land of no return makes for quite the enigma, doesn't it? It leaves me curious about the fate of the main character and what else he'll see in this mysterious land.

It's all very fitting of a small part in a much bigger adventure and I really liked the overall feel of it! Lovely work! <3