Five o'clock in the morning. The twilight of the rising sun had been bestowing an eerie peace upon mankind. In utter silence the branches of trees and the petals of flowers swayed left. The coos of birds heard only by what could be seen. The boys and girls who ran round the grounds, their footsteps could only be heard from the eyes. And droplets of water had started spilling and pinching the man in the suit.
The grass that once swayed left was meeting its roots as the man stomped forward. The crushed grass could feel the droplets of water that fell from heaven. That eerie silence, those jolly screams absorbed by air, and that scared intellect of man in denial of nothing.
And the screams of the caught girl in tag could now be heard. The falling rain vibrated in the ears. The thunder was heard by all. And the crushed souls of the grass laid waiting for its screams to be heard. The sounds of the swaying flowers and the branches of trees were running with no end in sight. The creases of the man's suit could not be heard even by the man himself.
The whether was danger, the man went to the silent shelter. The parents comforted the screaming girl as the shy grass went and died in the dirt. The trees had fell and others had watched. Prometheus was happy, Artemis was not.
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I like it, the detail of the setting was moving and amazing! I love the writing style, i dont know how to describe how i feel. I am just confused, you might i have done that on purpose, but i cannot tell what is going on.... it might just be me. I only know that this man is walking in this setting (which you describe amazingly)
Thanks for the feedback, I appreciate that a lot! And yeah I thought people would have a hard time with it lol. I was trying to show that whilst we the people are cared for (our sounds and screams are heard, we have shelters to go to etc.) nature isn't: the trees fall, the grass is trampled on, the creases of the man's suit isn't heard. That's why in the last line I say Prometheus (the titan in Greek mythology who made humans) was happy and Artemis (Goddess of the wilderness) was not.
I think I was too heavy with the metaphors I'm not that good at short stories lol >.<! Anyways thanks again for the review I'll keep it in mind for my future works!
Ofcourse! But now that i know what you meant... its really good! I like the meaning (now that i understand) behind it!
Yay thanks a lot!