I knew you
Even now when the rain pelts on the window
The same window that I first saw you in
The same day I lost my sweater and you wrapped me up in your cardigan
You didn’t know me yet
But I, baby I knew you
I saw your face in the unknown space and suddenly something grew
Because I knew you
A girl I didn’t think was real
Because your smile and your laugh and your eyes in a sun lit bath was the greatest appeal
Because I knew you
A creature– more elegant than the rest
So beautiful that it defies humanity at its best
I had never met you in real life before
But suddenly I’d seen you and I knew you were the girl I had always adored
You appeared in my dreams at night
I held onto you, wrapped you up tight
The same way you did with your cardigan
That very day when it rained against the window and I felt like you were in my heart again
And all the times after that when your hands would brush past mine
And I knew that I had met the attachment to my invisible line
Because I knew you
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Hi there! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
Am moon!!! Not on the one on the sky ok! Yay ~
Top Graham Cracker - What I Know
I really like this really i kinda feel relatable with this.I think this poem is about falling for someone and feeling connected to them even before knowing them properly. I like how the cardigan becomes a special memory for the writer because it reminds them of the girl and the moment they met. It shows how even a small moment can stay in someone's heart for a long time.
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - Room for Improvements
One small suggestion is to make the line about the “attachment to my invisible line” a little clearer because I wasn't sure what it meant. Also, I think the imagery in “your smile and your laugh and your eyes in a sun lit bath” could be a little clearer, and breaking some of the longer sentences might help the poem flow better. Its just my thought.
Chocolate Bar - Highlights of the Piece
My favorite line is
Wow! That baby word did something to me really. I kinda blush but also felt sad yk bittersweet
Closing Graham Cracker - Closing Thoughts
Overall this poem has good, sad, bittersweet vibe. And keep writing!! Thank you for sharing. Yay~
This is a really powerful and beautiful poem. I love how you used repetition in the poem as a way to describe the girl. The imagery that you’ve used is also very powerful.
What do you mean by the line: ‘And I knew that I had met the attachments to my invisible line’?
It’s very unclear for me.
But overall I really loved reading your poem. I love how it describes the feeling of liking someone and how having their belongings that they themselves gave you makes one feel. It’s a very realistic and understandable poem.
I really did love it♥️♥️