On Seeing Bright Star

by cnhanifin

Published November 10, 2009

I thirst for something
Not of three forms,
Liquid, ice, or vapor,
But something less commonplace
And more rare, more filled with truth
Than any scientific method can procure

I hunger for something
Not substances for the body,
But nourishment for the soul.

I long for something
And though I can name it in plain words,
I cannot explain it.
Nor comprehend my heart's aching for it,
Its need for it, nor its hopes.

I fear something
That these hopes, so longed for,
shall never come to pass.
That they are but fantasies,
Woven in a child's dreams

Dreams of love and rapture
That are obtained never,
Or with such a price
That would make a poet's pen soar for years to come.

And still, I thirst.

Comments & reviews · 2
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McMourning
Review
McMourning wrote a review Review · Nov 17, 2009

Hi.

And though I can name it in plain words,
I cannot explain it.

Love this line, because it's true.

I think that everything here is well written. The only thing I dislike is "Not of three forms." It doesn't sound right to my ear. Maybe you could just say:
I thirst for something
Not liquid, ice, nor vapor,
But something less commonplace


--McMourning

User avatar
IamArt
Comment
IamArt commented Comment · Nov 11, 2009

I like the way you used your words here, I wonder though what is it that the speaker is longing for. That's about the only thing I can think of.



Who wants to become a writer? And why? Because it’s the answer to everything. It’s the streaming reason for living. To note, to pin down, to build up, to create, to be astonished at nothing, to cherish the oddities, to let nothing go down the drain, to make something, to make a great flower out of life, even if it’s a cactus.
— Enid Bagnold