Published November 8, 2026
In Bone Boy
*These chapters are under my folder “Bone Boy”. Gacha Club character designs are under this forum: https://www.writerfeed.com/topic/117842-my-character-designs-lt-33-3?start=375. Enjoy!*
Chapter Eleven-Every which way
Rosemary had absolutely no idea of where she was going. There were mirrors everywhere. Sometimes she’d bump into one, but then she’d get back to running. She thought she had heard Shirley call out from somewhere, only to follow that voice and find nothing. Where was she? Why wouldn’t she show up?
Tears stung Rosemary’s eyes. Not as much as the itchy pink spots did, which were taking up more of her skin, her skin which was turning into an abnormally bright white, a white that should have only been on marshmallows and teeth. Was she ever going to get out of there?
“You’re already here, now you have to face her wrath.”
“Huh? What?” Rosemary asked, spinning around helplessly. There was a girl talking to her, but she couldn’t see her. Only her own tearful face, which was becoming something else. Her brown hair stuck in clumps to her skin with her tears, some of it falling off. Light purple hair was growing in place.
“In her carnival. Her home. You will change to fit what she wants. You should consider yourself lucky.”
This time, she could see someone else in the mirror. A girl with blue hair and blue clothes, her eyes completely white and her mouth open in a gaping, soundless scream. Some parts of her looked like they were erased. Her shoulders, a leg, a thigh. All gone. Rosemary walked closer to get a better look. Still, the parts of the girl were erased. Her eyes were not lying to her.
“What do you mean? Where’s Shirley?”
The girl shook her head.
“Maybe you’ll find her. Maybe not. It depends on what she wants. But at least you’re not being torn apart. There were others like her before. Four of them. They all wanted to play with four children. They all tore apart four children. Screams and blood. No mercy for them. I have not yet found Ceciliana. But I know she’s here…”
So that must have been Jane, the friend Ceciliana lost. Distant children’s screams echoed throughout the mirrors, followed by Shirley choking out: “Rosemary!”
Rosemary turned to look at the mirror. Jane was gone. She ran.
She had to find her. They had to get out. They all needed to go and fast.
Chapter Twelve-Do not stop
After her legs felt like they were heavy enough to melt, Rosemary was no longer in a hall of mirrors, but a hot pink and black zebra striped faux fur room. Twinkling white string lights were hanging on the walls and on the ceiling.
There was a black box TV on a wooden nightstand. The princess movie was playing on it. The one that they were all watching earlier, the one that Rosemary was paying the most attention to. There it was, one bubblegum pink beanbag chair in front of it for her to sit on. Rosemary could stay there for a little bit and finish the movie. There was a white coiled rope basket with DVDS in it next to the TV. When she got closer, she could see it was all the movies she used to watch with her friends, with Julieta the most. They were all there.
A lavender circle-shaped carpet. An elegant pink lamp. A closet full of sparkling and colorful clothes. The perfect room for Rosemary. She could stay for some time, then get back to her friends. She needed to rest. Her legs were hurting so much. And it’d be nice to get away from it all. Her friends probably wouldn’t believe her anyway, so-
“ROSEMARY!”
She took off running again, pushing away the rainbow beads curtain and plunging into the darkness. How could she ever think to stop? They needed her, there was no time to rest!
Claws tried to grab her, but she yanked them away. There was a light shining from behind beaded curtains, so she ran towards the light-
The cement ground had twisting flowers growing between the cracks, flowers in a cacophony of colors. White fur, dotted in blood, made a path for Rosemary to follow. The sky was a deep navy blue, streaked with cotton white clouds.
She swallowed hard and followed the bloody fur.
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142,643 Literary Works • 679,267 Reviews
@Tikaya new Rosemary chapters!
If I haven't read this tmr, poke me :)
Alr!
Hi Creeper!
I'm excited to be back reading about Rosemary again! I'm very intrigued as to where this is going to go, so let's get right into my observations:
I think you can strike the 'of' and the sentence flows better without it!
Oooh okay I really love this idea. It's so creepy and I can picture it so vividly! Maybe a bit of emotion here of what Rosemary is feeling alongside the questions (which are great) would make it even more tense?
I love the description here so much, but I think you could shorten it a bit to avoid some repetition.
Maybe: 'Not as much as the itchy pink spots, which were taking over more of her skin while the rest turned a white that belonged only on marshmallows and teeth.' but really vivid imagery!
Wow, this part is so creepy and I love how you have described it, especially the part about her mouth being a 'gaping, soundless scream'!
I think this sentence is also a bit wordy, and you could make it more concise. Maybe something like, 'Once her legs grew heavy enough to melt, Rosemary was no longer in a hall of mirrors but in a room of hot pink and black zebra-striped faux fur.'
Wow, your writing in this chapter is really stunning! I love this entire description, and it's such a good cliffhanger! Can't wait for more!
Morning creeper, looks like the pokening is not necessary =D
Not sure I like the structure of this sentence. This: “her skin, her skin” and “abnormally bright white, a white” feel extremely out of place to me :/I do like the reminder that she is in a room full of mirrors but I still think you could do a bit more to set the scene. It’s been a while since the last chapter after all XD
And a reminder why we are looking for Shirley specifically. (there were a bunch of other ppl with Rosemary earlier that are also gone now. Sometimes, you need to add these little reminders to help readers keep track of things.)
Something that’s not a face….? Otherwise the phrasing is weird. Maybe you could write something like “grotesquely changing”?
Oh I love that phrasing!
That one not so much, feels repetitive.
I kinda expected Rose’s exit from the mirrors to be a bit grander than just “yeah, it took a while but she got out” XD
I do like how you describe the temptation room, including the way you hammer home the movie the others were watching together. Nice details!
It feels like this time around you had a lot of phrasings for emphasis that ended up more repetitive than that, like here too: “ flowers growing between the cracks, flowers in a cacophony “
Otherwise, I’m thrilled for the next chapter :3
Thx for your review/advice!