Trapped

by darkestdays97

Published March 17, 2011

Fear is crippling and merciless;
It can devour you in seconds flat.
The judgmental will call you a coward,
The childish, a scaredy- cat.

As if they haven't experienced fear,
And they don't know of its sinister ways.
Your scream may last merely a moment,
But its effects could last for always.

Fear is abstract; it cannot be contained,
Forgotten, and pushed back on a shelf.
What is there to be afraid of,
When there is nothing to fear but fear itself?

No one knows fear like I do,
How it makes you cry and shake.
I should know because I am trapped in my nightmare,
Never to awake.

Yes, my friends, you may call me delusional.
I don't know the technical term.
I have sunk into the shadows of my mind,
Never to return.

My fear is all consuming,
I know it will never end.
Nightmares have become my reality;
All happiness is now pretend.

So what is my problem? I know you wonder.
Surely this makes no sense at all.
I will tell you all my tragedies that have now come true,
Before I answer Death's freedom call.

This macabre thing that burns me inside out,
And chills me to the bone:
My answer is, I am just a soul trapped in a shell-
Utterly, completely alone.

~Morgan3509 :)
****Note: I wrote this poem in 15 minutes at school for ELA, off of the word: Fear.

Comments & reviews · 2
Random avatar
writingruff
Comment
writingruff commented Comment · Mar 17, 2011

I like this, and how you describe fear in the 2nd stanza

Random avatar
PurpleHeart
Review
PurpleHeart wrote a review Review · Mar 17, 2011

Hey!
For only 15 minutes - Excellent! :DD I really liked this - the emotions were flooding which is something i personally crave in poems. I think you did a terriffic job with imagery and displaying feelings and thoughts, again - Bravo(:
I do have a couple of things though...

Morgan3509 wrote:Fear is crippling and merciless;
It can devour you in seconds flat.
The judgmental will call you a coward,
The childish, a scaredy- cat. - i thought i would hate this line, but i actually really like it!

As if they haven't experienced fear, and - move 'and' to next line
They don't know of its sinister ways! - this exclaimation mark takes away from the piece i think... take it out.
Your scream may last merely a moment,
But its effects could last always. -very nice! to make the rhythym better though, you might change it to 'But its effects could last *for* always.'

Fear is abstract; it cannot be contained, - i love how how repeated the beginning here!
Forgotten, and pushed back on a shelf.
What is there to be afraid of, when there is - move 'when there is' to next line
Nothing to fear but fear itself?

No one knows fear like I do,
How it makes you cry and shake.
I should know because I am trapped in my nightmare,
Never to awake. -Good.

Yes, my friends, you may call me delusional.
I don't know the technical term.
I have sunk down into the evil shadows of my mind, - too many words. Maybe 'I have sunk into the shadows of my mind'
Never to return.

My fear is all- consuming, - i dont think all consuming needs to be hypenated... i could be wrong though...
I know it will never end.
Nightmares have become my reality;
All happiness is now pretend. - i like it.

So what is my problem? I know you wonder.
Surely this makes no sense to you at all. - again, a little too many words. 'Surely this makes no sense at all' maybe?
I will tell you my tragedies that have now come true, - consider 'i will tell you all my tragedies'
Before I answer to Death's freedom call. - Omit 'to'.

This macabre thing that burns me inside out,
And chills me to the bone:
My answer is, I am just a helpless soul trapped in a shell- -take out 'helpless' or rework this line so the words fit better.
Utterly, completely alone. - Awesome ending!

~Morgan3509 :)
****Note: I wrote this poem in 15 minutes at school for ELA, off of the word: Fear.


i really loved this piece!
Keep it up!

-PurpleHeart



In the winter months, snowstorms and rainfall in the Patagonian Ice Fields can drastically affect the landscape. Worsened by heavy winds, such storms can reduce visibility and lead to glacial calving, ice collapses, and avalanches. During these conditions, travel is not advised.
— The Documentarian