Thou Loathest Mine Scalding Flame

[This is a piece written based on a concept from the game Elden Ring and should be understood within that context. If you haven't played the game, this might be considered spoilers, so don't read if you plan to play lol. Otherwise, here is a little bit of info about the backstory for those who haven't played it:

The player is called the Tarnished, and they are destined to become Elden Lord. Melina is a bodiless maiden who offers to guide you, in leu of your maiden being killed while you were dead. One of the endings in the game is where you claim the Frenzied Flame (a wicked fire that would be used to burn the whole world and everyone in it) which you can use to burn the Erdtree instead of having Melina sacrifice herself. As it is her purpose, she leaves you and says that if the player rises to become the Lord of Chaos, she will hunt them down and kill them. Basically, this is about a Tarnished who just wished to burn the Erdtree to save her and then cleanse himself it. Enjoy!]

The twisting brands upon mine skin still ache, a heinous mark of the sin I have committed. Flames seethe red and gold behind my eyes, throbbing like a blazing shaft of wickedness—frenzied, as it were, within me. I stand naked, trembling with agony, before the fingers who seared my skin with fire; looming above my shaking frame with a silent glee. Mine tongue tastes of foul ash, and the heart beneath my singed chest thrashes. 

Regardless of this tortuous suffering, the only comfort I nurse is the hope of saving thy soul from being consumed before the Erdtree. Instead, I shall serve as kindling, so that thou mayst remain by my side when I claim the throne of lord. 

I suffer so that thou shalt live, is that purpose enough? 

Thou once told me thou hadst lost thy purpose…

Doubt gnaws at the far corners of my mind.

Once the dreadful prophecy is fulfilled, I shall find a way to cleanse my flesh of this taint, so thou wilt not abhor me. There is an old man who hath hinted to me how…though I am afraid of that path. I am willing to attempt anything. 

Though thou beggedst me to let the flame be, I pray that thou understandest. 

My mind is true, rest thy qualms of that.

I need thee, Melina, dearest maiden. 

Do not scorn me for hoping.

I need thee. 

— ৡ — 

Thou loathest mine scalding flame and hast forsaken me and my companionship. I am deeply grieved, for thou hast deserted me though I have endured much. Dost thou not have faith in me? Have we not fared many hardships together? I trusted thee with my life and trusted thy judgment. 

Dearest companion, hast thou so little faith in me? 

I burned the tree, casting myself into the fires for thee, forever disfigured by these stinging scars. 

But thou detestest me and my fire. 

Perhaps it was foolish…selfish, I fear, to spare thee. 

Thou wishest to fulfill thy purpose. 

And I, my own. 

I do not spurn thee for it.

Though I fear the fragment of me who does not regret my actions. 

But what is a throne and a lord, without the ones thou lovest? 

I am lonely, Melina. 

Everyone hath perished—all those whom I once called friend.  

Canst thou blame me? For each that died, thou were witness to my grief. 

Rogier. Devin. Alexander. Blaidd…

Am I fated to be alone in this world? 

Is this worth the misery to spare the burning of it all?

Truly? 

The demi-gods have fallen before my blade, yet I am only a blemished man. 

A lowly Tarnished.

A selfish fool.

— ৡ — 

I claimed Miquella’s Needle from the hands of his sister. 

Another demi-god I have slain. 

The cool metal weighs heavily in my hands.

To what use have I of it now? 

I have long burned.

It is almost a comfort.

And yet a reminder of my woe.

The throne I once coveted grows cold. 

— ৡ — 

The fire feels ever alluring.

I crave the taste of ash upon my tongue.