Ticket to the Great Perhaps

by jasmine12

Published October 5, 2008

In Misc

you dont understand
there is so much that you dont see
just think if you can
what growing up had to be like for me
one days its over here
next its some where else
with only my teady bear near
loud voices
stupid choices
do you think they ever thought of me?
living in the shadow of the night
the pain, the pain.
the center of the chain

can you see now? no?
the voices got louder
now he makes an angry sound
i watched from my bedroom door
when her head hit the
kitchen floor
with only my teady bear near
I got through the
loud voices
stupid choices
do u think he thinks of her?
living in the shadow of doubt
the pain, the pain.
the center of the chain.

do you understand?
the reasons why I cant even trust myself.
the door is closed on
the feelings i keep inside
with only my teady bear by my side
i got through the pain.
just a little hug then i was fine
because of the
loud voices
stupid choices
they never even thought of me
the pain (lingering) the pain (lingering)
the-center-of-the-chain

with only my teady bear near
I got through the
loud voices
and the
stupid choices
I always think of them
the pain, the pain
the center of the chain
the center of the......

Comments & reviews · 1
User avatar
xGraceex
Review
xGraceex wrote a review Review · Oct 6, 2008

I liked this peom, but i think your description "bleh"s a bit offputting lol. It needs work with capitals and commas but i realy liked it!

next its some where else

with only my teady bear near

loud voices

stupid choices



I really liked this, it made me want to read more :D



the pain, the pain.

the center of the chain


Again great




when her head hit the

kitchen floor


I think the words need to be rearanged a bit, it didnt really flow that well here




with only my teady bear near

I got through the

loud voices

and the

stupid choices

I always think of them

the pain, the pain

the center of the chain

the center of the......


Its nice how you repeat these lines, it makes the reader remember, but i didnt really like the last line much, i kept thinking "does it carry on on the next page?"
Great poem! loved it :D

gracey



You walk into this room at your own risk, because it leads to the future, not a future that will be but one that might be. This is not a new world, it is simply an extension of what began in the old one. It has patterned itself after every dictator who has ever planted the ripping imprint of a boot on the pages of history since the beginning of time. It has refinements, technological advances, and a more sophisticated approach to the destruction of human freedom. But like every one of the super states that preceded it, it has one iron rule: logic is an enemy and truth is a menace.
— Rod Serling