The Seat Behind Mine

Hi there! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!

Am moon!!! Not the one on the sky ok! Yay~

Top Graham Cracker - What I Know
Firstly am crying.. It soo relatable it remind me of my school crush. I miss him so much even my classroom changed.I think this poem is about a girl who likes a boy and finds little excuses to talk to him. I like how asking for pens she already had shows that she just wanted to talk to him. The ending is sad because someone who was once familiar becomes a stranger. It shows how much small moments can mean to us.

Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - Room for Improvements
One suggestion is break them into stanza that can make easy to read like yk. Its just my thought.

Chocolate Bar - Highlights of the Piece
I liked who poem my favorite line is

I started asking him questions I knew the answers to,
asking for pens I already had,

I know this i always did same.

Closing Graham Cracker - Closing Thoughts
Overall it has good vibe easy to read and understand. Keep writing!! Thank you for sharing. Yay~

Absolutely love this!! My note to you is to try and ground yourself in a single moment and express that moment to the fullest instead of using a general sequence of events.

‘but most of all, I see stranger.

this line was so powerful to me. I love how strong this is as a closing line.

Hi Jennie! This was a really poignant and interesting poem.

I started asking him questions I knew the answers to,
asking for pens I already had,

I especially liked this line. It really illustrates how the narrator goes out of their way to talk to the boy, not just because of necessity but because they like talking to him and so they talk to him under the guise of asking for help. It's really realistic, and so cute! And then the contrast between that line and

My body has learnt to not turn around anymore
to ask those stupid questions
and to use my own pens.

makes the difference hit much harder. I also like the fact that you said "my body has learnt" rather than something like "I have learnt", as if it's a habit that has been enforced on your physical self, but inside you still want to turn around and talk to him!

Just a little stylistic point, which you don't have to pay attention to (it's just my personal taste) - the poem could be broken up into stanzas so individual "episodes" of this relationship are grouped together and the narrative becomes more clear? It's also great as it is - like I said, just a matter of personal taste! For example separating these two lines into two stanzas:

and turning around for no reason but to talk.
Until one day,

One conversation became two
and two became many.
And so the stranger who sat in the other row,
Became the boy in the seat behind mine.

I like how concise but effective this section is. Showing the building up of these two people's relationship where it seems to accelerate from one, to two, to many is very lovely and it makes the reader get a sense of that whirlwind friendship that they shared before the classes changed.

I'm also curious to know, why are there apostrophes at the beginning of certain lines?

‘but most of all, I see stranger.

I enjoyed reading your poem; I hope you post more soon!

Sincerely,
Cyan