Haha, I like this, it's very smart and witty.
I can't pick out much structure or rythm though, so a lot of it is hard to follow. Maybe some quotation marks would work, or revising where you break to make a new line.
I like the way you've used quite a variety of words and punctuation, it adds a lot to the writing. The last line being so short has a great effect too.
Keep up the good work.
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Dido.