The World, Briefly

I’m still new here, so i was just experimenting leaving a little piece of a thought outside my head to see where it would go. I’ve always loved philosophy for that exact reason one harmless question can open a door, then another, and suddenly you’re standing somewhere between consciousness, time, mortality, and the possibility that the universe itself is only another unanswered question. This poem came from somewhere in that corridor. I probably should have stopped at the first door.
<3

Hey Lilly!!

i like how u wrote that. It's a very comforting poem as if it's telling u to relax and be glad that u're still here for a while.

I love that line

Everything you love is leaving, slowly,

politely, like light off a courtyard wall,

and this is not the tragedy.

This is the reason the light is gold.

Hey! Since everyone is introducing themselves: I'm Lightswitch. I joined about the same time as you so we're both newbies.

I think... this poem literally changed the way I see the world. It shows the eternity of this world in the first sentence, 'before you were born' it makes me feel so small and short-lived in comparison. Like a temporary thing. And it explores the flow of time. I totally agree that we do need to bid a lot of things goodbye and that is the reason it turns valuable and 'golden'.


It introduced a contrasting viewpoint. empty rooms usually signify loneliness, nostalgia, but you took it the other way. The positive way that is filled with potential.

Lightswitch.

Hello Lilly! Am moon.
I really liked this poem. It kind of feels like something I would write in my diary. I really liked the “stay a little longer” part, because I understood it like we shouldn’t waste our time trying to understand everything, but just live our time and enjoy.

And that everything you love leaving part felt bittersweet to me because everything is not permanent, so just love the things you need to love first and enjoy your time.

I also really liked the orange line. It felt so vivid to me, like eating an orange as if it was the first sun.
I really liked “let grief come in and sit down” too. It felt like sadness can come, but it’s not permanent and it’s going to go someday.

And the golden light reminded me of the rose line from your other poem "what the dust Remembers". Both made me feel like things are beautiful because they don’t last forever.

I really liked this poem. Thank you for sharing.

hey Lilly ! welcome to YWS, you can call me Vesh, Juke, or Chantray (i alternate between all three ^^). i haven’t done a review in a bit and this seemed like a perfect place to start back up, so let’s get into it

firstly, i can see that your prose and use of literary elements is strongly developed, and the tone of this piece caught my eye right away. i love the idea of this unseen narrator urging the reader to stop a moment and just … visit the world. v. unique concept there : D

the way rain stays,
the way a mother's hand stays on a forehead
long after the fever has gone.

And when the night opens its enormous quiet,
do not call it empty.
Call it the room where every star
has been waiting, patiently, to be seen by you.

And when the enormous night opens its quiet,
do not call it empty.
Call it the room where every star
has been waiting, patiently, to be seen by you.

Hey Lilly
(lovely name there)!
First of all, since you are new here, I wanted to introduce myself. You can call me Queen, Queenie or Q!
Okay, what have I got here?
Praise:
I absolutely love the descriptions in this poem; you should really be a poet, tbh!
I loved these parts a lot:

Before you were named, the morning was already
pouring itself into the hills like warm milk,
and a woman somewhere was humming
over a pot she did not know would outlast her.

So eat the orange as if it were the first sun.

I would love to start off by saying that you did a very good job showing how the world really is, how not everything leaves fast but sometimes so slowly that you don't notice until it is gone as seen where you said

Everything you love is leaving, slowly,
politely, like light off a courtyard wall,

You are not visiting the world.
You are the way the world
learns what it is to be watched,
to be loved,
to be briefly, brilliantly here.

Everything you love is leaving, slowly,
politely, like light off a courtyard wall,
and this is not the tragedy.
This is the reason the light is gold.

So eat the orange as if it were the first sun.
Say the name you are afraid to say.
Let grief come in and sit down; it too
has walked a long way to find your door.