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by meganTQ

Published June 14, 2011

In Poetry

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Comments & reviews · 5
User avatar
Cailey
Review
Cailey wrote a review Review · Jul 6, 2011

This was good, I really liked your revised version. However, the line, "for the fire burns when the tide turns." Didn't fit quite right. It just didn't match the rhythm. But, it was a good poem. :) Keep writing.

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BlackInk
Review
BlackInk wrote a review Review · Jun 14, 2011

I love it But I think the rhymes could be improved some. You made details and I love that so much!!!But could use some more.

~Pixie2~


I agree with her. THe words rhyming abit more would give it abit of a better flow but overall, its really good. Job Well Done!

Black Ink x.

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XxMattxX
Comment
XxMattxX commented Comment · Jun 14, 2011

I'll add this to my reading list and reserve a review space!
( returning the favor)

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-Jojo

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PixieStix
Comment
PixieStix commented Comment · Jun 14, 2011

I love it But I think the rhymes could be improved some. You made details and I love that so much!!!But could use some more.

~Pixie2~



Alakazam BIOS discography Philadelphia à la disco [...] Nitrogen! I.E. polyester Garfunkle'n Garfield!
— John West (The Frugal Wizard's Handbook for Surviving Medieval England by Brandon Sanderson)