Once a Year

“In this toxic era, love is loud—
a fleeting flame, a fickle crowd.”

This first line reflects on performative love, where two people are only together for the novelty and excitement, love that doesn’t stand through wear and tear. I really love the use of alliteration in this—“love is loud”, “fleeting flame…fickle….”, and the rhythm of these two lines match perfectly when spoken aloud!

“
But we are quiet, you and I,

two distant lights across the sky.”

The next two lines are a clear description of the sun and moon, and the contrast between loud and brief love and quiet and distant love imply that the love between the sun and moon is not fickle nor fleeting. “Two distant lights across the sky” make me visualize that exactly, and the vagueness of “light” makes them seem even farther and more distant, like the details cannot be told due to distance.

“We meet but once in all the year,

no words to speak, no need to hear.”

While I don’t think these lines are scientifically correct, I still find that the poetic nature of them is bittersweet. If this poem is an extended metaphor for actual love, I think it was well done, since it’s true that the sun and moon meet very few times a year. This also makes the time between the sun and the moon feel even more precious. “No words to speak, no need to hear” imply that the two lovers, the sun and moon, don’t need to speak, and with the next line, “just one long look….” It implies that they don’t need to speak to stay in love. This is really important to fickle, brief love as well, since those kinds of relationships tend to be powered by excitement, especially through speech and interaction. The lack of excitement and action and the expression of longing and slow movement add a contrast to this. Also, the two lines “no words to speak, no need to hear, just one long look, a silent grace,” have multiple commas in between, making the reader slow down near here. This might not have been intentional, but it helps with the “one long look,” by giving the reader a pause afterwards.

Just one long look, a silent grace,
the world dissolves within that space.

The meaning of “the world dissolves within that space” is pretty clear, I think. The speaker is saying that during that time when the sun and moon meet, they focus on each other and not their surroundings. This reminds me of when your worries can be forgotten while you’re with somebody you love.

“If you were gone, my moon, my night,
what use would be my borrowed light?”

The speaker here appears to be the sun, who states that without the moon, he(presumably) would have no purpose. This could also come off as a “never leave”, where the speaker says that his light needs meaning that can be given by the moon.

“
And if I failed to rise, my sun,

your silver song would come undone.”

Here, the speaker seems to be the moon, as she(presumably) addresses the sun. Personally, I’m not too sure what “your silver song would come undone” is meant to convey. I’m really curious to know so if you read this, please tell me!

“So let the noisy lovers speak—“ seems to suggest irritation, since “noisy” is usually paired with annoyance, although this could be my personal association.

we need no voice, no vow to keep.

In this line, the speaker doesn’t say “I”, but rather “we,” indicated that both the sun and moon agree on this. This shows strength and unity in their relationship, showing that the entire poem was not one-sided. “We need no voice” implies complete understanding, while “no vow to keep” suggests that both the sun and moon are in this silent agreement of their own volition, so neither of them is tethered nor forced into this. Scientifically, the sun and moon can’t actually stop their respective revolutions, meaning that no matter what, they will always have to continue that path. This contrast detaches the two lovers from what we know the sun and moon to be, allowing for us to think of them as two individuals rather than two celestial bodies.

“
I'll wait through every silent sphere,

and hold my breath till next year.”

These last two lines are about waiting and longing. “Silent sphere” could refer to multiple things, but I don’t want to build on anything too specific in case my interpretation is too off. Personally, the first two things I thought of were the spheres on Earth, the geosphere, hydrosphere, biosphere, etc. and the revolutions of the sun and moon, which are in a somewhat circle shape(pretty sure both are wrong though). As for “hold my breath till next year”, to hold your breath is to anticipate something, and the first I thought of was the fear of one or the other getting injured, however, this is likely to reflect the yearning of the two celestial bodies as they orbit, distant from each other. Considering how breathing is so vital to life, it also makes me think that they can’t, or don’t want to, survive without the other. This is another demonstration of love, though it can come off as immature at times, because most people want for their loved ones to continue living rather than die after they(the most people) die, and most loved ones who are aware of this respect this and continue living.

Overall, this is a really pretty poem that expresses the longing between two lovers who don’t have much time together, yet all the time in the world. I really love the personification/extended metaphor with the sun and the moon and your rhyme and rhythm are both nearly perfect!

One thing that I noticed, however small, is that your last line “and hold my breath till next year” could have one extra syllable to make the poem flow a bit better. This could be simply solved by extending “till” to “until”.

I love your style, and I hope you keep writing poems like this! Thank you for reading this analysis and I hope you like it!