Published September 15, 2007
that forged but cheeky smile,
stretched for f***in' miles and miles,
til it shettered back to bland,
where you crushed my heart in your sweaty hand!
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142,241 Literary Works • 677,072 Reviews
I didn't like it. Why use a curse word if you censure it? What are you wanting me to feel? This is full of telling (and you're speaking directly to whoever "you" is) and so I can't feel anything from it. What emotion are you showing?
You're young, though. I suggest you read poetry, learn how to use metaphors and sensory image and all of that, which is all very important to poetry. I'm not sure you can really edit this specific poem and make it better--it has so little as it is you would have to rewrite it entirely.
Best of luck.