blood doesn't seem to flow through my veins,
and now i can barely contain the pain,
feels like i jumped off a moving train.
never had a family that cared,
or someone who dared,
to stay with someone like me.
my mind can't erase that one memory
now i'm begging for someone to hear my cries,
i can see myself fading as another part of me dies.
feels like someone clawed my heart out,
feels like i'm living on doubt.
and now i'm completely alone,
buried under my own tombstone.
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142,425 Literary Works • 677,775 Reviews
I love this poem sm, it goes through the feelings of numbness and being without a body.
if i'm correct, shows how you yourself do have a body, yet feel like you are not physical, simply just existing.
, reiterating the idea of hopelessness, begging for a hand to reach out while you internally fade away to nothingness.
I love this poem so much keep writing!!!
Thanks for writing your words
I know now how you feel
Damaged
Yes it sounds that
You don't have somebody
Who cares for you
Always remember that
There is somebody watching out for you
And that men is our Father
Who love us deeply
Also he is the one who
Created us in his
Image
Hi! I liked your poem, it is very emotional, and the ryhmes are very good. You should use proper grammar, so it seems more profesional. You made a great use of metaphores, and I can feel what you meant to share. Overall, a nice poem!
But, after all this review...
Well, I hope you are okay. Life can be hard sometimes but there will we always someone that will care about you. It's hard. I'm not gonna lie. But there's always a way to feel better. I've come to WF for this reason, and I hope that here, you can also find someone who cares about you.
I hope this helps.
Hiii!!
I really liked your poem!! I love the rhyming scheme that you have going on and the use of metaphors to describe how you’re fading away.
Though I would like to suggest that you use proper grammar as it makes any literary work easier to understand and more appealing to the eyes.
Overall I really liked your poem and the feelings it conveys.♥️