An Ending - needs work (Any ideas?)

by scintillation

Published July 30, 2005

An Ending

The solitary man.
At the top of the cliff.
Looked about. At
All the beauty. And
Wondered why a world so
Beautiful, could have
So much sadness.
The once lovely sound of
Waves, breaking.
Became lonely, hard
Tormenting.
The bright skies;
Moody, dark, painful.
And all the agony,
Welled up.
He screamed. Turned
To sobbing.
No point, he thought.
And dropped.




----------------------------------- This needs some work, i know, but where to start.... possibly a better title as well?
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Comments & reviews · 4
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scintillation
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scintillation commented Comment · Jul 31, 2005

Thanks for the advice. I'll get to it right now.

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antigone
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antigone commented Comment · Jul 31, 2005

I love the title. Cutting the periods like Chevy said would make it alot better, I think. Good poem though. I like it alot. :)

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Chevy
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Chevy commented Comment · Jul 30, 2005

A little choppy but the subject is good. Perhaps you should ditch the periods. And as for the title, "Ending" is nice.



Writing is my soul made tangible on paper.
— bluewaterlily