Listen to both;
argue with neither.
Hold secret after secret—
when will this surface of mine break?
Expected to take a side,
as if leaning one way
doesn't break me against the other.
Upset when she keeps the peace,
upset when she doesn't.
Choose, they say,
but suffer with what you choose.
Why must she choose?
She is the product of not one,
but two.
Why must she choose
when one is her father,
and the other, her mother?
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142,479 Literary Works • 678,038 Reviews
Hello
Your poetry caught my attention through the emotions and imagery woven into each verse. I could envision your words being brought to life through a series of connected illustrations, with each scene flowing naturally into the next and reflecting the poem’s evolving mood.
As a professional commission-based artist, I create custom paid artwork that transforms written ideas into visual experiences. I would love to explore a concept where every 2–4 lines or verse inspires a new illustration, creating a continuous visual journey alongside your poetry.
If this idea interests you, I would be happy to discuss the possibilities and help you explore a concept that suits your vision and budget.
Discord: inksbyeve
Instagram: @inkkfinity
Best wishes,
Eve
Thank you for the kind words about my poem! I am not looking to commission any artwork or spend money on illustrations at this time, but I appreciate you reaching out. Best of luck with your art!
I love how the words and lines give meaning and vivid imagery especially to someone who doesn't understand or know this situation well. The act and experience of the burden which the speaker carried, shadowed both parents. To carry a burden, it leads to exhaustion, depression, instability and the need for a pillow so they can finally rest and dream after a long time. To carry one isn't an easy task by itself and it certainly don't have all the words to describe the heavy weight on your shoulders while walking in the rain expecting to be ok. Though, I hope the speaker can finally have the courage for her space and to be happy for a long time.
Great work Serah!
Thank you so much for reading this piece! Honestly, I was just trying my best to perfectly portray what I was feeling into words, and I still have a really long way to go. Really, it definitely shadows both parents, makes one feel rage and helplessness and guilt, a whirlwind of ugly emotions. I hope that for all who face such things everyday can find someone who will be that pillow to them. I definitely look forward to reading your works too!!
Well said exactly.
First of all, I'm sorry you're going through such a phase. I can relate to this more than you might imagine.
Is it the burden of being a mediator, having to hear both sides without betraying either? Or is it the cost of neutrality? Refusing to choose is itself a painful position because both sides can interpret it as a failure of loyalty.
Then there's the contradiction of peace. Maintaining it is interpreted as something wrong, but refusing to maintain it is equally unacceptable. This is where your poem becomes less about choosing between your parents and more about the psychological burden of being placed between them.
And then your final part, where you bring us face to face with the injustice of the situation. This is where everything comes together. You strip the experience of its ambiguity. Why must you choose? It's difficult because you're a product of both. Neither should require you to prove your love by choosing one over the other. I suppose if you're not yet old enough to make that decision independently, I can understand the circumstances, but it's still an awful position to be in.
A little criticism, perhaps unnecessary, but I would have loved to see you explore the metaphor of the breaking surface further. It's beautifully introduced, but isn't developed throughout the poem. In fact, I think this piece deserves to be longer. There's so much emotional and psychological territory to explore here, and I'd have loved to see you give some of those thoughts more room to breathe.
Regardless, your work is brilliant. I particularly appreciate your choice of the third person, "She", rather than "I". It creates a little distance between you and the pain, almost as though narrating the experience is easier than admitting to living through it.
I sincerely hope things work out alright and that you don't have to make that choice. But whatever happens, I hope you know you're not alone.
Awww, you're too sweet, thankfully my situation isn't all that bad but my heart breaks to hear that you relate to this. No one should ever have to feel this pressure, especially not children. I think it's pretty ironic that the ones who are often called mature and a joy to be around are also the ones that carry things no one will ever know, and I hope that whatever burden it is you carry, can be alleviated, with good company.
This poem coincidentally was very very impromptu, so nothing is exactly deliberate, it's more just my feelings dumped into free verse. I completely agree with you that no one should be in this situation, and I'm really glad you resonated with it and liked my ramblings. As for the criticism, thank you so much, it is definitely not unecessary, and yes I agree I should have delved deeper into the breaking of the surface. I especially wanted to portray the dam-like feeling, trying to hold back all these emotions, all these secrets, and what happens when the tiniest crack appears. I may even make this piece longer in the future, but for now, I'm going to let my feelings be, no matter how exaggerated, on this page.
For the choice of the third person, I'm delighted you noticed, and yes it was definitely easier for me to disassociate rather than admit it was me from the beginning.
Thank you for taking the time to read and respond to this spur-of-the-moment piece, and I sincerely look forward to reading your pieces as well!
Thank you for sharing the thoughts behind the piece! I particularly appreciate your explanation of the dam-like feeling because it adds another dimension to the imagery. I not only relate to the idea of a person becoming a vessel for everyone else's emotions while having nowhere to put their own, but I've been that person countless times myself.
And I think your choice of the third person makes even more sense now. Sometimes it's easier to give a character the words we struggle to use for ourselves.
I'm glad you decided to leave the piece as it was, too. There's something valuable about preserving the honesty of an emotion before the instinct to refine it takes over.
And as for me, I'll be alright. It might take time; I've been this way for years. But one must find a way through the chaos. One must survive it.
That's what I'm trying to do.
And I look forward to seeing you go through my works, thanks and be strong.
"idea of a person becoming a vessel for everyone else's emotions while having nowhere to put their own," oh my gosh, thats the perfect way to put it wow, and trust me when I say, you're trying your best, you're surviving in this brutal world, and that's enough. You're enough, and let's both try cleaning out those vessels of ours to make just enough space for our own emotions. Prioritise yourself, and be selfish and happy.
Be selfish in a good way 🫂 ,
🫂