"Always!"

by sorrowfulnight

Published October 9, 2012

You, always had my back, from day one.

You, were always there,when I felt down.

You,were always able to give me; confidence, courage, and a sense of wisdom.

Those memories, still remain within.

I will treasure, the time we had together.

Always and forever," till the end!"

Comments & reviews · 3
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nevanoel
Review
nevanoel wrote a review Review · Nov 29, 2012

Because of the length, the only critique I can give you would be on grammar. (I know. Boo! Grammar Nazi!)

I found a misplaced comma/semicolon/quotation/space in almost every line. This may have been intentional, but it was distracting. Feel free to yell at me if you disagree.

"You, were always there,( )when I felt down."

"You( )were always able to give me( )confidence, courage, and a sense of wisdom."
The comma and semicolon just cut up a sentence that is lovely without them.

"Those memories( )still remain within.
I will treasure( )the time we had together."

As far as content, it is just nice. I really liked it. Excuse my grammar picky-ness. I cannot help myself sometimes.

:) I cannot wait to see what you write next.

Neva

TemptingDreams wrote a review Review · Oct 14, 2012

Seems like this person means a lot to you..We all have one those people. The person we that keeps us going everyday :)

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gothicangel Comment
gothicangel commented Comment · Oct 11, 2012

this was kinda sad!



You'd better wise up, Pony... you get tough like me and you don't get hurt. You look out for yourself and nothing can touch you, man.
— Dallas Winston, The Outsiders