How do I delete this?

by taytay0939

Published August 14, 2009

AHHHH!!! Why wont't this delete?

Comments & reviews · 4
User avatar
Blink
Comment
Blink commented Comment · Aug 15, 2009

I'll just lock it for you. In future, just let a mod know. As Emma said, it's unfair to delete a post after a review has been made. :wink:

-Blink

User avatar
EmmaJane
Comment
EmmaJane commented Comment · Aug 15, 2009

In answer to your question = it won't. Ever. If someone's already reviewed it's unfair to suddenly take it away from them. Though it sucks. I know. :(

~EmmaJane~

User avatar
Hippie
Review
Hippie wrote a review Review · Aug 15, 2009

This is very short, so not much can be said. Before killing a character off, it's best to make the reader love or hate that character so that they'll care. Otherwise it's not really a person dying, it's just a bunch of words dying. The only remedy is to make it longer, so you have time to build a bond between the characters and the reader.

The knives strapped to her leg, you didn't mention were hidden. Did she have a skirt on to hide them, or were they inside her trousers? Details.

There isn't any description of the setting, or the characters. I don't know what time of day it is. The right sort of description would help set the atmosphere.

With her exit, you mentioned she left a trail of blood. This would be a dead giveaway of her identity when the police show up, and if you want to make her seem like a professional killer, she should be well aware of things like this. Her fingerprints would also be all over the boy, which would also mean the police could nail her instantly. A professional killer would take into account all of these details and devise a plan that leaves no evidence. At the moment she seems like she doesn't know anything about being an assasin.



That's just what translation is, I think. That's all speaking is. Listening to the other and trying to see past your own biases to glimpse what they're trying to say. Showing yourself to the world, and hoping someone else understands.
— Ramy (Babel by R. F. Kuang)