Somewhere deep inside my bones,
Are echoes, whispers, of helpless souls.
Inside the scarred skin of my flesh,
Or whatever's left,
Is the purity of a heart I can't control.
Somewhere within the ebony whispers of night,
A dim flame seeps its way into my eyes.
While I'm sitting here, still, on the midnight floor,
Protecting people of four,
From the deathly consequences of life.
Can He cast mercy on me?
For what I've done to the temple of my body?
While my mind is buried in centuries of lies,
Manipulative lies,
Desperate to live up to morals I'd never be.
Who would protect them when I'm no longer here?
Perhaps even God is tired of my prayers.
Perhaps I've given to lust and to pain,
Thinking I would gain,
But the hard truth is, my hands were stripped bare.
And if He were to look upon me,
Would He be proud of what I've done to me?
When you've dwelled long in the dark,
Even midnight feels like dawn,
But perhaps He's watching what I cannot see.
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142,479 Literary Works • 678,036 Reviews
Hello
Your poetry caught my attention through the emotions and imagery woven into each verse. I could envision your words being brought to life through a series of connected illustrations, with each scene flowing naturally into the next and reflecting the poem’s evolving mood.
As a professional commission-based artist, I create custom paid artwork that transforms written ideas into visual experiences. I would love to explore a concept where every 2–4 lines or verse inspires a new illustration, creating a continuous visual journey alongside your poetry.
If this idea interests you, I would be happy to discuss the possibilities and help you explore a concept that suits your vision and budget.
Discord: inksbyeve
Instagram: @inkkfinity
Best wishes,
Eve
Thank you for the kind words! Unfortunately i’m not looking for any commissions rn, thanks for the offer!
Hey there! I'm Jaye.
I really like your name for this poem. And this poem is wonderful.
Okay, first off lets start with a couple of things that seem to draw my attention.
I love this. The very first two lines and this is how you start it is wonderful. This is so deep to me. I can't quite describe it but I love it. It's so very real.
I love the rhythm you have for this. It moves so freely and it doesn't sound forced.
Great description.
I like how you should us that you're not just trying to protect you. There are others that you need to keep safe, that you need to show that you're still intact and not broken. I can feel this very much.
Mhm. 🤌
I really love the "Desperate to live up to morals I'd never be" it hits me so hard.
This hurts me a bit because I've thought of this and as a Christian we need to trust God, not doubt him.
This might be one of my favorite lines.
Me is too repetitive. (imo)
Voila. Wonderful.
And the ending! 💣 Because this is so real! God watches over everything. He knows all and has a purpose.
The whole poem has meaning, about a Crhistian trying to survive in a world, clinging to God's grace and wondering if they're meant to be while trying to stay real for those who need it.
Keep up the good work!
~ Jaye.
OMGG THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE KIND-HEARTED REVIEW!! I wrote this initially as struggling with mental health and how hard it is to keep believing, but in the end I know He has everything under control. Me is probably yes repetitive I js wanted to include both lines ~
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE SUPPORT I APPREJCATE IT
OF COURSE!!! If you need to talk or anything I'm here!!
Hi, I'll be using the S'more Review method today.
Top cracker: This poem is about struggling with what a Christian would call sin and then when the rush is gone of doing all of that seemingly harmless stuff the guilt comes crashing in.
Chocolate bar: As a Christian myself I really related to the feeling of not ever being enough and seeing how I sin all the time in my life and it's really just... if there was just the law and Christ had never died there would be no hope.
Slightly burnt marshmallow: There was one line that confused
Bottom cracker: Overall a very vulnerable and painful poem. ✓
Thank you so much for the nice review! I really appreciate that you find it relatable, the struggle is real <333
Protecting people of four however i didn’t know what to rhyme with it and in this case it means trying to help multiple people while struggling yourself, hope that helps!
WOW!! I loved this so much like, BAM!!!! it kinda hits you like that. The struggle with faith and not knowing if even God will protect you is such a interesting theory. I love what you've done here.
This was by far my favorite line, its such a beautiful piece of prose, you should be so proud of yourself. Absolutely stunning, You should review my poem, Blue Jay or Miss Scarlett Fair!!THANK YOUUU for the warm review! Thank you so muchh for reading, and i’ll check it out when i find time 😭