i think
in my past life
i was
a tortured poet.
a man with no escape from his mind,
beard stubbled and heart jaded,
from the exhaustion of his own thoughts.
thoughts confined by a moral code of his own creation,
and a can do attitude to a fault,
his own fault.
he's never really been hurt,
but he's tortured in the mind,
by himself,
and by the souls he once longed for attention from.
his exterior body mangled from the truths that lie within,
patiently waiting for the inevitable outpour of emotion.
he lives near a pond of tears,
a forest of social normalcy,
a moat of pain.
he finds solace in the little ways life and the universe try to mend his tortured soul.
he writes beautiful stories that fluctuate in sanity
as his words smile and mask the depth of his mortal soul.
on the outside his person is carefully organized and every detail is meticulously tended,
but the inside looks more like the disheveled mess of a hospital room that holds a man minutes from death.
death by his own torture.
his soul is broken in ways he won't pretend he understands.
the patterns of his life,
marked by his self preserved unending sorrow,
his poetry is painted by the perils of his own
sick
tortured
mind.
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142,241 Literary Works • 677,072 Reviews
Hey, willie!!♡ I've read ur beautiful work and i loved the journey into the self and the search for some kind of understanding i think this poem is a realy deep look into the nicely composed exterior and the storm inside.
I like how u contrasted (or maybe not, it's hard to say) the inner and outer look of the main character in ur poem: how beautifully he arranges all the details of his life..... while inside it's all chaos, the chaos of the hospital room. Another thing i liked is giving names to the surroundings: a pond of tears, a forest of social normality, a moat of pain........ it all seems so familiar, so understandable.
The only thing im not sure...... about is the end u wrote that no one can understand his own pain, but u also wrote that his soul is broken in a way he can't understand......... i think it's a great point to finish the poem on.
i also think that in some places the flow of the poem could be better. Sometimes it's hard to follow because of long lines....... maybe u should have paused there to let the readers absorb the meaning of what u wrote.
But overall it's a great poem that touches on a very profound subject: the relation between a creative mind, its loneliness and the way it deals with pain........ i also like how u linked everything back to poetry at the end. Lovely work!♡
~lilly♡ the fire dragon